A Recipe for Health, Sex, Happiness and Love - Introduction

I’m not a professional chef. I’m not even a great cook. I’m a good cook who believes that the secret to a successful life is found in recipes for health, sex, love, happiness and good and interesting food. Over the years – thirty-three to be exact - I’ve collected and cataloged into three note books recipes that one day I intended to become a healthy cook book. It all started with an interest in eating healthy, a desire to initiate a little sexual spark, find a lasting love, to be blissfully happy and fill my time with a creative and interesting endeavor.


I bought a book – thirty-three years ago entitled, How to Write Cook Book and get it published. The introduction said, “You can write a cook book. If you’re fooling around with new recipes or collecting old ones, you can write a cook book. The main difference between you and the person who actually writes a cook book is a neatly type written stack of pages containing recipes.”

Now believe this or not when I started to collect and create recipes thirty-three years ago I did not have a PC. I only had a cheap typewriter and the ability to type using only a few fingers. I never actually learned how to type. I was a single young mother working two jobs and providing a home for my children. Time and money were very scarce. However I needed to cook so why not collect recipes, cook them for my children, expand our palettes and teach them something about eating good? So I began to collect, cook and record the recipes in loose leaf notebooks; organizing them into appetizers, main dishes, breads, desserts and condiments.

My little book about writing a cookbook asked me two questions; why did I want to write this cook book and who was it for? My book it seemed needed a theme. I pondered hard to answer these questions. I wanted to write this book because I wanted to teach myself to cook healthy delicious foods. I wanted to be able to enjoy the fun of creativity. I had to cook anyway so I might as well make it interesting and fun. I was under great stress in those days as a young single mother living in Maine. I worked a full time job, taught exercise part-time, managed a big house and cared for my two children. Money was tight but we had to eat. And I discovered that form scratch to finish I could complete ina couple of hours something tangible like a meal that was enjoyable, healthy, good and necessary. I was also exposing my children to different foods and hopefully helping them to develop a sophisticated palette. But I also had another motive.

I thought the cook book should be sexy and provocative. It should be inviting so that when I found the love of my life I could seduce him with my cuisine. I would make for him, healthy, sexy, loving and happy meals that would make my project come to life. So I started to cook and collect recipes. My theme written on the first page of my cook book was;

How to Snare a Man with your cooking, making him rise to any occasion and thoughtfully feeding him healthy foods so he would, in turn be romantic, enthusiastic, innovative and preserve – just what every woman desires!





So I cooked and I collected but I never organized it into a book for publication. It was always my intention. I have carried the note books with me for over thirty-three years. Some of the recipes my children now incorporate into their own home cooking. They fondly remember some of the great dishes I made and we laugh at the total disasters.

But this book is not just a collection of food recipes. It’s recipes for living a successful life which I suggest is good health, great sex, lasting love, blissful happiness and indulging in great and interesting sustenance ( foods and drinks) which provide the essential essence of life.

The definition of a recipe as given by answers.com is;

1. A set of directions with a list of ingredients for making or preparing something, especially food.

2. A formula for or means to a desired end: a recipe for success.

3. A medical prescription.





Now my book does have a set of directions with a list of ingredients for making or preparing something; especially food. It is about a formula for or means to a desired end; a recipe for success. It could be a medical prescription if you consider the medical benefits of food, as it pertains to health, sex, love and happiness. This is a book about a recipe for success through the means of preparing something that just might be good for your life. That’s it – the theme!

So here I sit ready to go. I have my theme. I have my method. I have my recipes. Now all it takes is the disciple to sit in front of the computer every day for the next year and write one page after the other. The only difference between me and the one’s before me that have published their books is the number of type written pages. Success begins with that first line. From there it is all about self discipline. It is the difference between wishing and doing.

Why do I want to write this book and for whom? Because it has been sitting quietly for years waiting for the time to be right; the time is right. I have more time now to devote to the things I want to do as opposed to the things I had to do. It is a new technological world with computers, social media, smart phones and apps. I can take pictures and in a moment’s time post them to the internet. I can even make this into an E-Book for immediately download.

I want to write this recipe book so that it is simple and yet thoughtful. I want it to be more than just a collection of culinary recipes. It is about recipes for living a successful life. It is about finding pleasure and joy in the simple things in life. It’s about being creative with or without wealth. Hopefully it will have morsels of wisdom that add flavor to life. For what is life without a little flavor, a little sugar and a little spice? As the French say; joie’ de vi’vre.



Where do recipes come from? They come from everyday life. They are meant to be shared. We prepare them and share them. We break bread, celebrate, entice, care for, share with, derive good health from, sexually entice with, prepare with love and celebrate with happiness the recipes of our lives. Through all the many moments large and small food sits at the center. It defines a culture. It heals, it soothes and it nourishes our bodies, our minds and our souls. A wise person understands that you are what you eat.

Wisdom is the ultimate goal of life. For as we mature through life it is wisdom that befriends the body, the mind and the soul. But wisdom does not come easily. It comes through many moments of trial and error. To be wise you must know and to know you must experience and to experience you must do with great faith and conscious awareness. A good cook knows all the failures that lead to a success. A curious cook is not afraid to experiment. Trial and error repeated until perfection is achieved is the essence of success. Then wisdom teaches us that it is not perfection that makes for success but the very act of doing. So what better way to traverse the road to success than focusing on our health, sexuality, happiness and love? What else could there be? Perhaps wealth? If you have your health, you are sexually satisfied, you’re happy and you have love in your life; you are a very wealthy person. A wise person understands this to be true. As is cooking so is life….

Doctor Lynn

http://ww.doctorlynn.com/

Recipes for Health, Sex, Happiness and Love

After several weeks of organizing the first 40 pages of my new book, I'm now ready to post it to the blog. Follow along with me each week as I post about foods, moods, attitudes and perspectives. It's all in how you see the world. Beauty is all around us; we just need to open our minds and stop looking with our eyes. Food more than anything else brings us such joy and beauty. It soothes us, heals us and gives us the strength to survive. We share so much of our lives through the breaking of bread. Food gives us health, improves sex, makes us happy and is the ultiamte symbol of love.
This book took me thirty-five years to create...I just needed to find the time to get around to making it happen. The time is now...
Doctor Lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

New Project

Last week I organized the first 30 pages of the new book and videoed my intro class for my new exercise class Aero*boga(tm). This week I plan to start posting it... things take time and the timing must be right or things simply get lost in the massive constant movement of life. Be patient and diligent and all that you desire will materialize.
Doctor lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

The Book

I've spent the last month getting the first 30 pages ready to publish. Follow along with me as I publish it to my blog. Recipes for health,sex, happiness and love...what else is there?
Catch my new exercise class  to launch in May.
doctor lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Week 4

Entering week four of writing the new book. That's over 30 pages! Will be posting soon.
Doctor Lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

The Color of Royalty

On my desk in full bloom is a bouquet of Iris; purple, stately and bold. They are known as Fleur-de-lis, the Irs is the emblem of New Orleans. They stand for hope, courage and admiration. Whatever they come to mean, today they are beautifully dispayed on my desk and a reminder to stop and appreciate the flowers along the winding path of life.
One more week and the new book will begin to be posted.
Doctor Lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

 

Next

Just finished week two and the intro and chapter one of the new book. I am onto week three and will begin to post this soon. I wanted to make sure the material flowed...
Doctor Lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Provence

If you love France, then Provence has to be a beautiful place. Stay tuned for my new book about to start in a week or so...more on Provence and Sancerri.

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Another Day

Another day and another page in the book. In a short time I will be posting the pages of the book but first need to perfect the intro and the theme....each day I write one page and each day I get one page closer to making a cocnept become a  reality....sign up for the monthly newsletter.
Doctor Lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

The Book

Introduction is done and the first chapter is almost written. Need to organize this week and then we're ready to go....stay tuned for healthy, sexy, happy and lovingly recipes.
Doctor Lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Dinner

Last night I made the first dinnner for my new book. It was a success. Stay tuned and the book will begin to be posted chapter by chapter...
Doctor Lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life - getting Away

Some times just getting awsy from it all and visitng a quiet part of nature is all it takes to get the creativty back. This is from White Water Preserve in Palm Springs - a free nature walk through the desert. Take  a little time to shut off the phone, get away from the noise and enjoy a bit of nature - it will do wonders for the body, mind and soul. And stay tuned for my upcoming book and new exercsie program - it's sure to get you healthy, sexy, loving and happy.
Doctor Lynn
http://www.doctorlynn/

A Successful Life - New Book

Finally after many weeks of pondering I have come up with the direction and theme for my new book. Watch for it as I will be posting daily to the blog. What is is about? Recipes for good health, great sex, lasting love, blissful happiness and once a week a real recipes for making healthy, low fat dishes that are good for your health, sex, love and happiness. Stay tuned...sign up for the free monthly newsletter and stay in the loop http://www.doctorlynn.com/
Doctor Lynn

A Successful Life – is a $300.00 bottle of champagne worth it? 2/16/11

Last week my husband and I celebrated out anniversary. Tucked away in our wine closet was a $300.00 bottle of Dom Pe’rignon that my husband had been given as a gift from one of his clients. We decide to crack open the bottle of bubbly and give it a try.


When you think of champagne you think of the French. During the 17th century France enjoyed a luminous era under the leadership of King Louie the XIV. He became known as the “sun king” for his benevolence and his patronage to the arts. At the Palace of Versailles King Louie was the first king to drink champagne.

Our bottle of champagne was entitled “1996 a year of light.” It’s description; eight minutes from sun to earth, long hours of August warmth to mature the grapes, seven years of maturing the shadows of the cellars breathe energy, depth and brilliance into Dom Pe’rignon. Then finally the magic moment when Dom Pe’rignon 1996 bursts from the bottle to enchant the eyes and the palate with its unique, sparking magnanimity. Ok I’m in- let’s drink!

We popped the bottle, poured the champagne and toasted to many more years. It was dry and subtle, soft and yet so bold. Nothing harsh or fruity about this bottle. It was sophisticated. Very easy to drink another glass and then another glass….to finish the bottle. We drank it with caviar which made the whole experience very decadent.

I’m not a real champion of champagne. All I know is the next day I felt no hangover. The subtle and yet sophisticated taste of the champagne lasted in my memory. Was it worth $300.00 a bottle? Not sure so we decide that one day soon we would open a bottle of $80 Dom and see if we could tell the difference. In the mean time I was off to my French class with my new found class buddy, Jeff the sommelier. Surely Jeff could tell me about my bottle of champagne. I brought the insert listing it as a 1996 Dom Pe’rignon. Jeff took one look and smiled. “An excellent bottle of champagne.” he proclaimed. He went on to describe it as subtle yet sophisticated. Almost like slightly stale bread or nuts that are dry without the bold flavors of newness. He hit it on the head. He told me that there was a rose of this same vintage that was very expensive but equally as good. It was a great bottle and a great experience.

Would I spend $300.00 for another bottle of 1996 Dom Pe’rignon? No, it is an extravagance that is better left as a gift received.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Two of Life's Aphrodisiacs

Did you know that caviar is an aphrodisiac? Fish roe is high in zinc and other minerals that support a heathy sex system. When a  man ejaculates he loses zinc. Caviar is also high in phosphorous which transforms into metabolic activity and penile erection. Champagn is more than just the "bubblie" - it's also a memory enhancer - yes that's right the grapes and the fermentation process has been shown to enhance memory - so not only do you get to enjpoy robust sex but you also rmemeber it!
Happy Valentines Day - more on caviar and champage later...
Doctor Lynn
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life – Baking a Honey Cake

Today I’m baking a honey cake so I can take a picture and email it to my PR firm so they can email it to a website that wants to feature it as an alternative to chocolate for Valentine’s Day. It’s a recipe I discovered and changed a bit. It is a feature in my book about Sex and Love. I’ve never had a cake featured or for that matter any other food I’ve created. It comes for a cook book I have in hand written (collected and organized long before we used computers at home) form that I always intended to publish. Perhaps the time is near. It even has a theme – well it has two themes: one is to catch a man with your interesting cooking and the second is to keep him healthy. The recipes are all healthy and low calorie-low fat. It’s a project that will take time and thought.


I’ve cooked every one of the recipes. I only included one’s that I thought was good and that my family and ex-boyfriends really liked. The idea was to become an interesting healthy cook. I grew up in a place where the basic were cooked never veering off from local dishes. The food was good and hold some but heavy, fatty and sometimes a bit boring. It was easy for me to master comfort home cooking. I wanted to do something more. With no one to teach me I began to explore other taste and other cultures.

I moved to Los Angles and was exposed to a variety of foods and cultures. I love the variety and like most every food except kimche, some Korean, some Vietnamese and old Chinese. Thai and sushi work for me however I will eat just about anything – and have! To my surprise sweet bread is quite good!

So late today I’ll bake the cake and then decorate it so I can take the picture to match the story to be posted on a few website. This is fun and creative. I’m thinking about making it a feature on my blog – a healthy dish with a theme. Together it will become a healthy cook book. May-be after twenty-five years it will get published.

A honey cake is not a simple thing to make. It is sweet but it is also healthy. It’s not low in calories. It’s not the best cake I’ve ever made but it has a theme. It’s a honey cake for your honey – an aphrodisiac of sorts. Honey and the spices in it are all foods that support a healthy sexual self. They inspire energy, endurance, circulation, warmth and strength.

The sight of a fresh baked honey cake made specifically for your lover will insure that he or she gets in the mood. The thought, the time, the effort and the magical ingredients will spark the fires of love making. Because you see – nothing brings on love like a caring thought and, something you made to give from your heart. And if that doesn’t get them – the ingredients will!

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Honey Cake for Your Honey

Chocolates, wine and roses are easy but did you know: (recipe below)


You can catch more love with honey than chocolate this Valentine’s day?

Bake your Honey a Honey Cake

Did you know that honey is an aphrodisiac? Honey is a complete food used throughout history for its ability to supply energy and nutrients. When tested against other foods it ranked number one for sustaining performance and quick recovery. Sounds like an aphrodisiac to me! So how about a honey cake for your honey sprinkled with aphrodisiacs spices and erotic wine for Valentine’s Day?

Original recipe By Doctor Lynn from Sex Matters… so get Sexually Healthy the Natural Way



Honey Cake

Serving honey is an ancient way of honoring guests.

1/2 cup of honey

1/2 cup of Strega wine (or any sweet white wine, but Strega is best)

5 egg yolks

7 egg whites

1½ teaspoons of salt

1 tablespoon of grated orange peel

1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons olive oil

1 cup whole wheat flour

1/2 teaspoon each of cinnamon, cloves,

and nutmeg

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Line the bottom of an 8-inch spring-form pan with oiled parchment or a brown paper bag cut to size. Oil the pan and paper well.

Whisk egg yolks with honey for five minutes. Add orange peel. Sift flour with salt and spices. Gradually stir into egg yolks and honey mixture. Add wine and olive oil, stirring constantly as you add small amounts. Beat the egg whites until stiff and then fold into batter. Pour batter into pan and bake for 20 minutes. Turn oven off and let cake sit for 10 minutes. Remove cake from oven. Turnover and detach from spring pan carefully.

Sprinkle top with a mixture of cinnamon and ground dark chocolate. Serve with a side of orange sorbet.

From Sex Matters so…Get Sexually Healthy the Natural Way

By: Lynn A. Anderson Ph.D., N.D.

http://www.doctorlynn.com

Sex Matters

You bet it does! Check out my book Sex Matters... so get Sexually Healthy the Natural Way
http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life – Fix it when it’s not working? 2/7/11

When something is not working should you try and fix it or abandon it and move on? If it has value to you and you believe that it has some merit then perhaps a little fixing might make it work. It’s so easy to throw away and quit when the rewards for your efforts are not met. That is when it is time to reassess your goals and your values and decide to fix it or not.


I wonder if Oprah would like to do a show on people who are trying to accomplish something and no matter how hard they try things never seem to work out. What is it that makes something work and at the same time makes something else not work? Same effort but different results.

Could be timing, wrong exposure or no exposure. May-be it just doesn’t appeal to anyone or it’s not unique enough to stand out above the crowd. Whatever it is – it appears broke and the question is do I fix it or throw it away?

Some people fix everything. My husband loves to fix things. He will spend hours fixing a small object that if he added up his time was a total waste of money. But he gets satisfaction in fixing an object. May-be this is not such a bad idea. The world is very wasteful. If we fixed things instead of throwing them away may-be the world would not be so cluttered with junk. Seems like there is more junk in the world every day.

I am taking a couple of vest to the tailor to have them retrofitted. It’s cheaper than buying new. The vests are vintage and unique. I’m trying to recycle my clothes and my shoes and my project. What does that mean; I ponder? What does it mean to recycle your life? Webster’s defines it as causing to repeat a cycle. Isn’t that what mid life crisis is all about? We try to repeat an earlier cycle only to find that things have changed. The old material is not the same as it was thirty years ago. The fabric has faded and is a bit torn but with a careful eye we can recycle back again with a better perspective and better use of our time.

Should I try and fix it? There’s an old saying, “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” If it is broke and it can’t be fixed – recycle it. Isn’t that the mark of a successful life? The ability to recycle over and over until you get it right.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Honey cake...recipe coming soon

A Successful Life Getting Organized

Some days I feel like I am organized and others fly by without any feeling of accomplishment. But just exactly what does it mean to be organized? Getting a lot of things done? Having everything in its place? Is it really worth it? Wouldn’t it be more fun to simply take things as they come to you? Or would a bit of irresponsibility create chaos and stress?


The practice of Karma yoga teaches that life becomes what life does. You reap what you sow. However there is a fine line between overly organized and chaos. It is called the middle ground where balance is found.

I am about to make some changes in my approach to my projects. To date what I have done has not worked. I can blame myself and believe it to be a failure or I can reorganize and set about with a new plan. If I throw my hands up in despair I have truly failed but if I carefully analyze my situation from a balanced and grounded point of view without the mixture of emotion I can see that the direction I choose is not working. Perhaps another direction will get me to my destination.

But what if life does the very best it can and still it comes up with failure? Is it really failure or an attempt misguided? I did not listen to my intuition this time although I knew that the potential for failure, or should I say not to succeed, rested in both the source and the ability to organize and implement. The organization was there but the implementation I questioned.

I’m about to reorganize. Will this guarantee success? There a e no guarantees in life only opportunities that get discovered when a person is willing to take a chance. And sometimes taking a chance means letting go of well organized ideas and habits. Being too tightly organized can destroy the flexibility and spontaneity of life. If life becomes what life does than a little spontaneity just might be the antidote that helps us reach the middle ground.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life – The Road to Hell

Dante said the road to hell was paved with good intentions. So I have found. What a disappointment when your intentions are good and they are received with such anger and the anger is directed at you. For all the trying you receive a bitter blow of being blamed for all the ills that might befall a person. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.


What do you do with a good intention? If you see a loved one in trouble, do you ideally sit by and let them falter because it is easier and safer than trying to help? It is one thing to think you are right and that there is only one way to do something and you must impose this on another person even if your intentions are good. However it is another thing to reach out when you see someone you love hurting themselves and their health in a destructive way. How do you help someone who is on a path of destruction. It’s not about being right and it’s not about knowing better. It’s not about having things your way – it’s about love and caring. It’s about concern for the welfare of a loved one. As a mother it is always a challenge – do you speak up when you see your grown children hurting themselves or do you sit by and let things go. It is always a dilemma as to how far we can assert our intentions even if they are good and well meant.

My intentions did not go well. They were met with anger. The solace I take is that I know in my heart the intentions were good and never meant to bring about anger and hurt. I cannot be responsible for the way another person sees or feels. How another perceive a situation is often so far from what is intended.

In situations like these we must always return to the truth – the truth is that the intention was good even if the other person sees it as criticism. However we must also accept and acknowledge the other persons point of view. If they saw it as criticism ( and this is their truth) then unless they can also see our point of view the intention becomes another cobblestone along the road to hell.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life – And it came to me

What is this mysterious thing that seems to come from nowhere and is suddenly the answer you have been looking for? I have been struggling how to turn my next book into a book. I needed a title and a direction. Then suddenly in a book store waiting to go to a movie the title started to pop in my head and I realized that the title defined the direction and would bring all of my ideas into a central theme which was what I needed to do. Then I got a better idea – the title would start with a text message! After all I is destined to be an eBook. But now I need to learn how to write the title in text messaging. I’ll look it up on the internet because everything can be found on the internet accept my intuition. I wonder if anybody today listens to their inner voice for direction or do they simply Google for a response? Does anybody rally get quiet and listen? When was the last time you consciously heard and felt your breath?


Now the next step is to turn this blog into the book so I implement the discipline to get the book written. Without the time and application of thought and organization nothing ever gets written. And of course nobody may ever read it. But if I don’t write it than for sure no one will ever read it.

As I sit here early in the morning enthusiastic about my new found direction, I wonder why I feel compelled to write another book when I have written about four and one of them have amounted to much in terms of material success and fame. But that’s not why I do this thing called writing. It’s because I love the process and the satisfaction of watching something abstract come to life.

My new book has received several nice reviews from professional book reviewers. Things are different now. It’s not about getting a publisher. It’s about publishing our own book – which everyone is doing so that everyone is an author – just as everyone is now an artist and everything else due to the changing structure of the world. Perhaps that is a good thing. For too long, too few people held the keys to success. If you knew someone – success could happen. It was never about how much you knew but who you knew. Now it’s more about who you can get to follow you because you have something interesting to share and that does not equate to money for most people. In some ways the whole process is tougher and in some ways it’s easier – and isn’t that progress?

I’ll write my book the old fashion way – one page at a time and hope for the best or at least the opportunity to share something of value.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Decisions

I’m struggling with a decision. Where do I take my project? How do I give it a focal point? Decisions are sometimes difficult to make. We need data, alternatives, reasons and intuition to guide us through the decision making process. Some people seem to make decisions so easily while others belabor over the simplest of things. I fall into a middle category. It takes me a while to decide but once I decide I am usually quite firm.


I can’t seem to find a solid direction and that is why I am now laboring over where to go with my project. Solid ground gives strength to the process of decision making. It’s much like yoga. The base of your physical, mental and spiritual self must be solid, grounded, strong and steady and then you can enjoy the flexibility and the balance that comes with the ever changing energy of life. It means to flow from one position to another without losing that solid touchstone which of course is your inner being.

Along time ago I learned that making decisions involved a twofold process. First data needed to be gathered. The facts of the matter needed to be examined. And then second get quiet and listen to your intuition. Great decisions are made this way.

The data tells me that I am not hitting my mark. There is so much competition and I have not been able to distinguish myself in any significant way from everyone else. I blend around the edges but fail to be the solid color from which the hues reflect. My intuition tells me that I must keep trying and not to give up.

Perhaps the hardest thing in life we undertake is making decisions. For most people there is a deep fear of making the wrong decision. But not making a decision is also making a decision. When you decide not to decide a decision has been made. It is perhaps better to make a decision given careful thought and if that decision should turn out to be the wrong decision at least know that you gave it your best. Perhaps in reality it was not the right thing for you. I have always found that there was a good reason for my decisions and that whatever resulted from the decision was always the best for me even if at the time it seemed difficult and disappointing.

I can look back over my life and see the many decisions I made, had I made them differently, my life would be in a far better place, in some ways, and in a far worse place in other ways. I never made decisions based upon money or financial security. I always made decisions based upon love, adventure and personal growth. I’ve loved, I’ve had adventure and I’ve grown as a person.

And in writing this I can see that my decision as to what to do can only be based upon my free spirited need to love, explore and grow. That is a marker of success – understanding yourself and why you have made the decisions that you have made in your life and being happy with the results.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life – Defining a Friend

Yesterday a friend told me that one of my past students and a friend who was more of an acquaintance than a friend – depending upon how you define a friend. We never did anything together but chat after class. One day we had a quick lunch. She faithfully came to my class always in the back but always supportive.


She is a pretty women about ten years my junior. She is one of the few people I know who is very happily married. She has two teenage sons. She has style, is artsy and funky which is one of the things I love about her. She and I share the same taste and ability to carry off wild outfits. I always loved to see her outfits as she changed into street clothes in the ladies room. They were always carefully choreographed. I especially appreciated her slender body, pretty face and youthful attitude given the fact that she had undergone breast surgery and a hysterectomy for cancer. She was a survivor but not just any survivor. She maintains her beauty and her style in the face of adversity. She was five years out and in remission. I admired her strength.

One day I came to class and burst into tears over an emotional issue. She happened to be the person who caught me crying. She listened and consoled. I thanked her. I never burst into tears again but she always asked me how I was doing. Then one day as I shook with fear I told my class I was taking a leave of absence – I had been diagnosed with cancer and would undergo a radical hysterectomy.

She consoled me. She reassured me that I would not lose my style and my grace in the face of this adversity. She reassured me that I would come out of this a strong and beautiful woman. She was right. This adversity brought depth to my being. She sent me emails of encouragement and when I returned to teaching was there with a friendly hug of support.

She left the gym and joined another gym as students often do. She said good- by and we promised to stay in touch through emails. We lost touch accept for a mutual friend. The mutual friend tells me that after more than five years of remission she has stage four cancer with tumors throughout her body. It does not look good.

We were never close friends. I have never been to her house and she has never been to mine. We have never done anything but chat after class. However I feel a deep sadness for a woman who has such love for her husband and her children and such a spirit towards life. I admire her and thank her.

Now I must send her an email and hope I can make it sound positive. I want to thank her for all her support and for teaching me that a friend is not always the ones you hang with – sometimes a real friendship comes out of a casual encounter.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life Learning for Fun

I’m taking French. The class is small and is becoming a lot of fun. I look forward to going to class. Yes I am learning French. It is something I have wanted to do for a long time. But it is also fun. We laugh and kid each other. Everybody is serious about learning but not seriously learning. We are all adults that are just enjoying the experience.


I love going to school. I’ve always been a good student. I’ve studied hard and been very serious about learning. I’m still serious about leaning but this time it’s all for fun. Perhaps it is my age? Perhaps it is my present station in life? More likely it is my ability to draw interesting and fun people into my life. It’s part of maturing. The competition of excelling fades only to be replaced with a sense of self satisfaction at simply learning something new. It helps that everyone in the class equally laughs at themselves. We all do such a debauchery of the language.

It’s not that completion isn’t something good. Competition makes us excel. New products and innovative services are produced because of competition. Money is made and people work to produce the best quality so as to win the coveted prize; whatever that might be. What is sad is when the essence of the end product gets lost in the fierce desire to win.

I’ve never been competitive in sports or business. I’m not aggressive enough. But I’ve been competitive in love, school, art, knowledge and creativity. I’m mostly competitive with myself. I always expect more from myself. At times I’ve pushed myself very hard to succeed. But these days I’m a little less aggressive and a lot more likely to focus on having fun. And guess what? The more fun I seem to be having the more successful I seem to be at the things that matter most in life.

We start out as young children laughing and having fun. Then we are programmed to be serious and competitive. Sometimes the pressure of it all takes all the fun out of life. One of the good things about aging is having the insight and ability to recapture a bit of that fun. Ever noticed how older people seem to laugh and get such joy out of the little things in life? That’s because we realize with age and experience that having fun makes life a rewarding and successful learning experience.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life Surviving A Bad Night’s Sleep

Sleep is something I love to do. I usually sleep eight to nine hours a night. I have always hated waking up to the blast of an alarm clock so very early on I trained myself to wake up just before the alarm goes off. It’s an easy trick. Just tell yourself what time to wake up before you go to sleep and it usually works. Set the alarm for insurance. About 95 percent of the time I wake up before the alarm. But last night for some strange reason sleep evaded me.


I tossed and turned trying to fall asleep. Then I woke up at 3:00AM and tossed until 5:30 AM when I just gave in and got up. I have a lot of work to do today including teaching two cycle classes and a French class this evening. I really needed a good night’s sleep. I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through the day on less than 4 hours of sleep. However I feel amazingly wide awake.

Nothing significant is bothering me. I’m not under stress or feel anxious; the usual things that rob one of sleep. I’m just awake. So I decide to go with it. I can always catch up on my sleep. This is just one of those nights that come along. What can I do? Nothing when my brain won’t let me sleep. So I decide to make the best of it.

I’m up early. More time to write and get some of my work out of the way. May-be I can have a second cup of tea this morning before running off to teach my class? I can get my emails out early and get ahead of my work today. I’ll sleep tonight and make up for the lost sleep. It’s just another day and so what if I’m a bit tired by the afternoon?

Oh no….there is French class tonight. I have to be alert and think in French class. I need to study before I go. No time to take a nap this afternoon. I’m feeling anxious now. But French class is supposed to be fun. Well it is but not when you’re tired. The brain won’t want to process anything later today especially another language!

I have time for a second cup of tea. How nice! I have time to get my work out early. As the morning begins to dawn I accept the day and decide to go with the flow. If exhaustions should over take me I’ll find a few minutes and take a quick nap. If I’m not at my peak tonight in French class I’ll make up for it next week. Sleep comes and sleep goes. Days blend into each other as we routinely move through our lives. Do I remember all the sleepless nights I’ve experienced in my life? I remember the stressful times and the traumas. And yes those brought on sleepless nights. But I don’t remember the sleeplessness. Last night was not filled with stress or anxiety. It was just a sleepless night. I have survived all the sleepless nights and I will survive this one. Sleep has a way of returning.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life Acknowledgement

I just spent two days writing outlines for publications that will do a write-up on my video and book. It was a lot of work. I enjoyed doing it and must say I will enjoy the recognition I will get. Recognition doesn’t always turn into money or fame but appreciation for one’s efforts is always a reward unto itself. Or is it?


When I was a student it was enough to get a good grade for my efforts. I worked hard to be a good student and was rewarded with praises from my professors and good grades. I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I put that on my resume when I went job searching. And guess what? No one cared. Unless you are continuing on in academia – and even then once you get past the Masters level – no one cares.

I live in Los Angles where acknowledgment is superficial. It’s all about being a star, driving a nice car and taking exotic vacations. I teach yoga and cycle. Every day I get acknowledgment for my effort and thanks for my devotion. It is these little thank-you(s) that make my day complete. I still have that drive to do the best I can because I care and well…because I like doing it.

My book is published and my video is done. I am getting a fair amount of publicity. Nothing hugh but a little bit of acknowledgement for my efforts. It has not turned into dollars and may-be never will. I may fade into the dust but one thing is sure…I made the effort.

I accomplished a goal. It feels good. Self acknowledgment should be enough to satisfy the soul but it seems we all seek something more. But perhaps the highest level of achievement is when we can in fact acknowledge ourselves as worthy individuals with unique talents that no matter how small by comparison are truly very large in scope.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life It was only a Dream

Last night I spent a lot of time dreaming. I have been wearing Invisiline (plastic trays to straighten teeth) for the last 6 months. I dreamed I lost them. I was so upset to tell my husband I had to get another pair which would cost an additional $300.00. Already we are a few thousand into these things. It was a dream full of anxiety. I woke up felt the trays in my mouth and sighed with relief. It was only a dream.


A long time ago I studied dreaming. Seems there are many theories and many interpretations of dreams but why and how we dream what we do is still a mystery. My husband believes it has to do with the food you eat for dinner. Some people think it is stress and others think it is something that is repressed.

I had a barrata salad with a wonderful pate and a glass of red wine. Could it have been the wine or the pate? I was under a lot of pressure yesterday to get out two interviews for my new book. I’ve been feeling tired and over worked. My husband and I are doing fine. All the family is healthy. I don’t feel stressed and anxious so why did I dream such a ridiculous dream?

I woke up guilt-ing myself about all my bad habits. Vowing again to get them under control. The anxiety made me feel a little out of control and I like to feel in control of my life. I am a little more lacks these days as I am not under the pressure and stress of my earlier years. I got up and wrote down the four things I need to modify in my life. May-be these concerns are the cause of my dreams?

It was only a dream and I woke up to find my life in tack. The sun is rising. It’s about to be a beautiful day. My work is almost done and again I will beat a deadline which is something I enjoy doing. As for the things I need to modify in my life….I made a list to remind myself – all things in moderation – that’s balance- that’s practicing yoga at its best.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life – Yellow Tulips on my desk

It is early morning and I am not yet awake. The sun is just peaking above the horizon. I glance up and see the vase of yellow tulips sitting on my desk. They give me a lift as their brightness unfolds. Tulips remind me of spring. Tulips make me feel happy. I take a moment and appreciate these little flowers and realize this is what it means to live a successful life. Appreciate the little things. However tulips are not just little things.


I am going to Amsterdam in May and hoping the spring will be late and I will get to see the tulips in bloom. According to Wikipedia:

The tulip is a perennial, bulbous plant with showy flowers in the genus Tulipa, which comprises 109 species[1] and belongs to the family Liliaceae.[2] The genus's native range extends from as far west as Southern Europe, North Africa, Anatolia, and Iran to the Northwest of China. The tulip's centre of diversity is in the Pamir, Hindu Kush, and Tien Shan mountains.[3] A number of species and many hybrid cultivars are grown in gardens, as potted plants, or to display as fresh-cut flowers. Most cultivars of tulip are derived from Tulipa gesneriana.

Wow those little flowers sure are far reaching. At one time in history the tulip bulb was worth more than gold. Around 1634-1637 speculation on the price of tulips soared causing what was know at tulip mania. It was a t this time that many painter and potters added pictures of tulips to their work.

The first tulips in North America were believed to have been planted in Lynn Massachusetts by a wealthy farmer. My name is Lynn. The town was Lynn and I love tulips! I learned something new today simply by clicking the mouse and reading Wikipedia. So the tulips not only made me happy but they taught me something I did not know simply because I took a moment and appreciated their beauty.

Today look at something, question its origin and appreciate its beauty.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life Learning something new and staying young

Last night was the second week of my French class. I’m taking French classes because it is something I’ve always wanted to do but never seemed to find the money and the time. In my life I have found that when I want to do something or find something all I have to do is put it out into the universe and wait until the time is right. That’s how I found the French class. I decide that this year would be the year that I would study French. I am going to France in May and want to be able to speak a little French.


I was having dinner at a restaurant and saw a brochure for a language institute here in Beverly Hills that offers language classes. French of course was one of them. I had been thinking about getting CDs but this was even better. Now I had no excuse. The sign-up was easy.

The next day after I signed up for the French class I heard a researcher on the radio talk about finding that older adults who learn a new language improve their cognitive skills. It is more challenging than crossword puzzles or math because it calls upon the brain to also develop new concepts. Language is conceptual and creative. Perfect, I thought, not only am I learning a language but I’m improving my thinking skills! I can feel the brain fog dissipating.

I just had a birthday and although I do not look or act my age, I am still aging. Now I had a way to keep the brain strong and add a new dimension to my life. I am becoming bi-lingual. I am about to let my little French girl come out! I feel younger and sexier already!

The French have a secret. They enjoy a glass of wine with their meal every day. Just one glass. The French do not drink to get drunk. They drink the wine because they love good food and wine. Research shows that although the French eat rich foods they are very healthy. Seems the wine improves circulation and cognition as well as enhances sexuality.

I think I’ve found the secret to longevity and fun. Learn a new language and drink a glass of wine a day. Makes you sexier, smarter and more fun. May-be it’s not so bad getting a little older. Having the time and money to play sure makes it fun!

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com

A Successful Life Bargain Shopping with a Friend

What woman doesn’t like to bargain shop with a girl friend? The excitement, the hunt, the find and the score! And then you get to share it with a girl friend that made her own score. Shopping, laughing and bonding over a good bargain is what we women live for…well not exactly but it sure is fun.


My friend is black and I am as white as they come – WASPY, blond and blue eyed. I grew up in the country and she grew up in the middle of New York City. We both live in Los Angeles. We couldn’t be more different and yet are so such alike. We are about the same size, fitness enthusiast and teachers and gravitate to the same bargain bins and style of clothes. We see the world in very similar ways. Our upbringings and our politics coincide.

I’m fortunate to have this friend. Good friends are tough to come by and even tougher to maintain. It takes work and time to make and keep a good friend. And with all the time commitments of family and work it is difficult to cultivate a lot of friendship. As you age you realize the value in friends and the need to pick them carefully. Time is precious and only allows for so many good friends.

I consider myself successful to have my bargain shopping friend. It has taken a few years to cultivate this friendship. I give us both credits for making it work. We’ve both put in the effort to make the time to share, laugh, cry and help each other. I have been her friend through a financial crisis and she has been my friend through an emotional crisis. We both hope those times have passed but one can never be sure so we hope to be there for each other if the need be.

It’s not the bargain or the shopping that makes for a successful life. It’s the fun that takes place in those moments when all that matters is hanging out and playing with your friend. We all need to take the time to laugh and play with a friend. I am fortunate that I have a few good friends that make me laugh.

It takes maturity and experience to have the wisdom to appreciate friends. It takes effort to stay in touch. Success is found in the little things we appreciate. I appreciate my friends and the time I alot to spend with them. They make me laugh and that is the greatest gift of friendship.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life A healthy Relationship

Did you know that one of the most important things you can do to insure good health is to be in healthy relationship? Love, affection and yes sex are good for your health. Notice I wrote a healthy relationship and not just any relationship. As well as a romantic relationship it also goes for friends and acquaintances. Surrounding yourself with emotionally healthy people brings both emotional and physical health into your life.


Study after study has shown that people who are in loving healthy relationships are healthier. There are a number of reasons for this state of being. In a healthy balanced relationship people tend to laugh more, sleep better, eat better, express emotions freely, exercise more and share touching, hugging and sex.

When we eat better, get adequate good quality sleep and exercise we are living a healthy lifestyle. When we love, hug and have sex we calm the body-mind by producing feel good nuerochemicals that work wonders for the heart, circulation, respiration and for relieving stress. Problems are easier to solve. Our emotions are balanced so we effectively deal with the day to days annoyances of life. We share the fun in life and add laughter and play which have been shown to bring about health.

A healthy relationship has maturity. That means it compromises, understands, cares and knows when to give and when to take. A person in a healthy relationship understands that 90% of the small and irritating aspects of a relationship are minor compared to the love and caring that is shared. Humor is used to dismiss the minutia.

Every relationship has its moments. Nothing is perfect. A mature person realizes that every relationship will have annoyances and things we wish we could change. Focusing on the good stuff and accepting the minor stuff is what makes the difference between a health relationship and one that is full of stress and strife.

If a relationship is not healthy you can be sure it will tax your emotional and physical health. Move on and surround yourself with healthy people. Your b body, your mind and your souls will thank you.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life – it must be done with love and understanding

The heart chakra in yoga is the center of love and understanding. Managing a relationship should always come from a place of caring as opposed to manipulation. Love and understanding are the gateway to respecting the soul of an individual.


The heart chakra is the fourth energy center moving up the spine from the base of the spine to the top of the head. It lies in the area of the sternum or near the heart. It relates to love, expansion and indefatigable nature of the human spirit.

When the heart center is open and balanced the natural of our identity becomes infinite. We understand the eternal nature of love. We have the capacity to sacrifice for the sake of sacrificing and to love without condition. It is here that our first level of higher consciousness evolves. Being able to freely connect with this energy center is another piece of living a successful life.

It can take a life time to master love and compassion. It comes from a realization that we are all one with the same shared feelings and experiences. How we color those experiences may be unique to each of us but at the root of life we all are one. Love is love and hate is hate. We share and experience the same emotions. Understanding this we can reach out with compassion to those who are less fortunate, in need and not yet fully evolved.

To rise to this level of being is to begin to connect with and appreciate the true nature of success. A life consciously aware of and consciously living in love and understanding is a life that is rich, peaceful and happy. We all want to love and be loved. It is what makes for a successful life.

In a relationship love is the factor that will carry the relationship through all sorts of trying times. But love does not come without a price. In fact true love is not the stories of romance but rather the commitment, loyalty and caring that comes with time and a deep understanding of both the sameness and the differences in each human being.

You will know real love when the time comes that support and understanding is needed and it is given without hesitation or expectation. When you receive this love or you give this love, you will gain insight into the nature of a successful life.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Life becomes what life does – Managing a Man

Very early in our relationships I went to see a councilor. Things were not working. I needed understanding. So I found a male councilor thinking he could teach me something about the way a man thinks. His name was Anthony. He was a British guy who was very to the point. Anthony taught me one thing – manage the man. Be a woman and use your power to manage the man and you will get exactly what you desire. Of course I didn’t listen. I resisted the idea that the solution could be so simple.


I like most women had to complicate everything. You see this is how we operate. Things are never simple for a woman. Her emotions and abstract way of seeing things makes it so difficult to understand the simplicity of a man. Men are simple creatures. Their needs and their wants are simple. Give a man a good night’s sleep, a sexy romp in the hay and a good meal and he’s happy. Sure men like their toys and their sports but give him the three basics and he’ll be so easy to manage.

Anthony taught me to simplify life. Take charge in a feminine way. Never underestimate the power of a woman. Let him think he’s in charge. He’ll realize on some level what you’re doing and he’ll love it because the truth is most men love to have a woman take charge in a feminine way. So if he wants to negotiate the car buying deal and order the meal; let him do it. Smile and know that you are ultimately in charge because you see all a man wants to do is please a woman. It makes him feel needed and wanted. When a man feels needed and wanted he’s happy.

Why do you think they want sex? Well yes they love the feel of it but it’s also about connecting. A man feels like you want him when you are having sex with him. It’s his emotional connection with you. We as women need to understand that just because he doesn’t always connect emotionally the way we do ,it does not mean he is not connecting. Understand the beast and he’s putty in your hand.

Now you may think this sounds a bit manipulative but he is getting exactly what he wants and you will in turn get everything you desire – a warm loving, faithful man who adores you and keeps you safe and warm.

That’s how you manage a man!

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life Stop Looking and compromise

Well I never expected it. In fact I was not looking at all. I was into my life and resigned to working and friends. I was ready after 4 years of online dating to give it up. And then an email came from a man whose profile did not fit my requirements. He was going through a divorce, 13 years older than me and had a 14 year old son. I was looking for someone who had been through all the agony of divorce, had time to get past the rebound, was closer to my age and had no young dependent children. But he had a cute smile and he was persistent about taking me to lunch. We met and the lunch turned into a 4 hour event that 2 years late became my second marriage. It wasn’t easy but I had learned a few lessons along the way.


Heading for fifty I began to soften a bit. I had accomplished plenty. I had plenty of freedom and had done pretty much all the things I wanted to do. I no longer wanted or needed to be strong and assertive. I wanted to be taken care of by a man. I wanted to let my feminine soft side come out of hiding. He needed to be in charge. He wanted to take care of a woman. His ego needed massaging and my being in charge needed a break. It wasn’t easy but we both wanted a relationship with more traditional roles that also had respect for each other. Men and women cannot compete with each other. They think and act differently. It’s all about embracing your sexuality with respect for each other. This wasn’t easy.

I won’t say we didn’t have many tugs of war. It’s not easy when you are both equally educated and experienced in the larger world. It makes for challenging moments. But the battle of the sexes has never been won. No one wins when love gets lost in a shroud of pride and ego. It takes understanding each other and being willing to appreciate, respect and embrace the nuances.

Men like to pound their chest and rescue women. It’s in their nature. Let a man open a jar for you and he’ll puff up with pride. What I learned was that most of the things I ask my husband to do for me…I can already do. I can buy a car, change a tire, fix the leak, pay the bills, argue the case…but why should I? Why should I break my nails, struggle and worry when he is only too willing to be the man? It makes him happy to take care of me and I get more time to be a woman.

So I stopped looking. I stopped searching. I married again and although it has been challenging I finally found the secret of balance. I respect my femininity. I respect his masculinity. At the same time we both take pride in the fact that we are capable souls connecting in the most intimate way as simply a man and a woman. All it takes is a little respect and a little compromise.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Life becomes what life does – dating again

I am a first generation product of internet dating. I am even a first generation of the dating service. Sure there have been matchmakers in every culture but it was usually an Aunt, relative or friend who made it their business to find mates for single men and women. Marriages have been arranged and some still are. But paying a stranger to find you a mate was something new in the eighties and nineties in the American culture. I even worked briefly for a dating service. It was a job between jobs and free access to eligible men. The problem was that most of the people who signed up for dating services were not people I wanted to date. And the whole thing was quite a scam.


We were made to show pictures of members that were handsome and beautiful to entice eople to sign up. There was a strong pitch and a scare tactic to close. You made the person feel lonely and desperate and that the only way out was to join and find the love of your life. Of course once you signed up disappointment quickly set in….love is not found in a book of pictures.

The internet came along and changed the face of dating. For a small fee and the click of a mouse you had access to thousands of people all over the country and the world for that matter. It was like a buffet. You could pick and choose what you wanted and without a moments hesitation you had an in- box of eligible people to date. The only problem was that it was so easy to lie with the computer.

You can be anything you want behind the screen of a computer. You can lie about your age, your weight and even about your status (married or not). I can’t tell you how many times I met men who were not at all what they promoted themselves to be on the internet. One time I met a guy who described himself as a bit of a chubby Jewish guy. He was very pleasant on the phone and seemed like a nice guy. I could deal with a little bit of a chubby guy. When I met him he was at least 100 pounds over weight! That is just one of the mild stories from my experience on the internet. However I met my husband on the internet! But not without a little adjustment and compromise on my part.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life – Surviving a broken heart

He was the love of my life. I was 35 years old. I had spent the last ten years struggling through school and establishing myself in the business world. The time was right and David appeared on a warm early summer day in June on the town square. We ran into each other returning from lunch to our offices. We had met before and even went to a business function or two together but never considered dating. Something special happened that day. We took one look at each other and it was like a bolt of lightning struck us and we fell madly in love.


We spent the next eighteen months in mad passionate love or so I thought. I was ready to commit to this man and relinquish my independent feminist ways. He was the very man I had been searching for all these years. This was it! And in the beginning it was it for him too. But he unlike me was a rover who drank way too much and found it impossible to be faithful to any one woman. So he cheated on me and then told me he didn’t love me enough to marry me. I was devastated. I thought I would never love again.

It took several years and a couple of loveless relationships for me to get past the pain and devastation. I had worked so hard to be a strong independent woman and here I was crying and sobbing in pain for the love of a man.

I survived the broken heart. It ultimately made my life stronger and more thoughtful. I was lucky he didn’t marry me and bring me down in all his misery. He could not stay sober nor truly love. It was a disaster I had been spared. Today I am grateful that he did not use and abuse me. I believe he truly loved me and knew he could not be good to me – so he moved on. He did me a big favor. Because when someone doesn’t love you the way you love them it is sure to be a disaster and lots of pain.

I learned that compatibility, respect, honesty, stability and faithfulness far outweigh the lofty passion of falling in love. I began to look for a different kind of man. I learned from my mistake. I never felt angry or disappointed because I knew I could truly love from my soul. I had loved deeply. I was grateful for that part of the experience. I would not want to go through my life without falling madly in love – no matter the cost. I mended my broken heart.

I then lived with Peter who was a friend and made me laugh harder than any man I’ve ever known. But we were not meant for each other. We helped each other through a time in our life and then we needed to move on.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Life becomes what life does Who am I?

As I began to navigate my life as a liberated woman I struggled a bit with my role. I was the bread winner of my family. A single mother. I owned a home, drove a nice car, had money in the bank and could pretty much do as I pleased. The freedom was intoxicating from time to time.


I did not have to take care of any man. However there was not a man there to take care of me. I was alone in the world with the responsibility of a family. I could relate to the pressure a man must feel being the provider for a family.

In many cases I was more educated than the men I worked with and for…men still owned most of the companies and held most of the senior positions. The men resented my intelligence. I was not one to play dumb and boldly would assert my opinions. On more than one occasion it got me into trouble.

I was admired and respected for my tenacity and my energy but revered for my strength and fortitude. Women were not supposed to be competitive. I quickly learned that I could run circles around most men and wasted no time letting them know it.

Once I was dating a very nice man who asked me a question to make a point about my feminist ways; he asked me to pretend he was digging ditch on a hot summer day. He was hot and sweating. What would I do? I said I would get a shovel and help him. He smiled and said that what he wanted me to say and to do was to get him a cold drink of lemonade and praise him for a job well done. He made his point.

However he lacked to see my point. I would help him to get the job done faster. After all I was strong and I could dig a ditch too. I felt I was helping and this helping hand would be appreciated. He wanted to be cared for and praised for being a strong man. He wanted me to be feminine and soft. I wanted to be strong and equal.

I worked for men who tried to intimidate me. I was passed over for promotions and often times found myself not fitting in. I could not relate to the secretaries who were there to serve and I could not relate to the men who were there to be served. It all seemed very bizarre to me.

I was petite, blonde and by all appearances very feminine. Men were very attentive to me. I had no problem getting attention. But men were afraid to date me. They would later tell me that they were sure I had plenty of men chasing me and that I was strong and independent. The competition was too much work. I dated a lot but found it difficult to find a permanent relationship. Most men seemed too passive for me.

Then I met David.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Life becomes what life does – I thought I knew

I thought I had it all figured out. Men would want me if I was smart, successful and not needy. If I was independent then they would find me attractive. I would have self confident. I would not need to put up with anything from anyone. I could be my own person. That seemed to be the answer.


When I was married at a young age and feeling restless and dissatisfied a friend suggested I see a marriage councilor. There was a new therapist in town name Leslie. She was promoting herself as a progressive marriage councilor who could help women open up and strengthen their marriage through independent thinking. She was successful in ending every marriage she tried to fix. Instead of promoting marriage she promoted independence.

She introduced us to Betty Friedman and Gloria Steinman. We joined the ranks of the women’s movement. We were now bonded together in a common cause – women’s rights. She gave us strength to leave a marriage just because we wanted to be free. No longer did we need to stay and be unhappy. We could now go out into the world, work, make our own money and sleep with anyone we wanted.

Looking back I can see her almost masculine looking persona. She was aggressive and downplayed any attributes that made a woman soft and feminine. It just wasn’t attractive to be feminine. Wearing pants, being in charge and being indifferent to men was seen as strong and successful.

It wasn’t about attracting men. It was about letting men know that unless they wanted to play the game our way we did not need them anymore. We were self sufficient. If a man wanted to be with us he had to let us be in charge. He had to take on a more domestic role. He had to be more emotional. He had to be quiet and let us lead. The problem was that men did not know what to do. Man by nature is aggressive. Man has always been the warrior, the hunter and the protector. It was not in his genes nor in his social upbringing to be soft, subservient, controlled and led.

So we had to establish new rules. New guidelines need to be installed. Men were now expected to do at least ½ the domestic duties as well as work. They were expected to put their careers aside for ours. Men had to develop their feminine sides. They needed to learn to cook, clean, sew and tend to the children. In many cases they assumes the domestic role, raising the children while women went out and made their mark in the world. Divorce escalated. Women were angry. Men were confused.

The ideals of the fifties faded away. We were now caught in a new world with ill defined roles.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Life becomes what life does – Changing direction

I’m contemplating changing a direction. Last week a friend suggested I write a book about relationships and how women can become balanced in the modern world. How do we stay feminine without being taken advantage of? Most women have been used and some abused by a man. A good deal of the women’s movement came out of oppression. Women were tired of being second class citizens. We wanted a voice. But we had no idea how to speak so we yelled and roared like a man using intimidation as our arsenal.


I’m a product of the “me” generation. An old hippie with values that still believe in free love, freedom of expression and equality for all. At a young age I found myself in the middle of the woman’s movement. It was a time of bra burning, pant wearing and freely using the word “fuck”. We stood up and protested against anything that made a woman submissive and feminine. We were as smart as men ( may-be even smarter) and we were determined to prove it.

What did we need men for? Only to make a baby. We could make money, hold political office, make decisions, solve problems, own property and raise children on our own without the dictates of a man. We thought we had freedom which as Janice Joplin sang,” is just another word for nothing left to lose.” We however had plenty to lose. Freedom from anything comes with a price.

What we lost was elements of our femininity. We lost the soft and nurturing side of ourselves. We lost the special part that separates us from men. We lost our distinction. And in the process we became competitive, angry, forthright, over achieving assertive and sometimes very aggressive almost androgynous beings with rights and responsibilities standing alone not at the top of the heap but piled and squashed into the world of work and toil.

However there were perks. No longer did we have to endure abuse. We could choose where and how we wanted to live. We could explore and rejoice in our newfound sexuality. We could buy and sell, establish credit, gain titles and get recognition.

It was ok to be single, to never get married and to be divorced. We were not scorned for openly having lovers or living with men without marriage. We could even have children out of wedlock artificially inseminated with a sperm from a donor who had no face and no name. We didn’t even need a man to make a baby. We could buy sperm and do it on our own.

We raised our sons and daughters to be equal. We encouraged men to bring out their feminine side. We thought we had it all so why didn’t this make us all happy? What was missing?

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Life Becomes what life does –Early Morning Workout

Get up, get out of bed and get to the gym! No..it’s cold and I’m tired. But I have a class to teach at 7AM on a cold rainy winter’s day. I’d rather stay in bed and sleep.


I get up and go because I am committed to teach. I want to give up the class. It’s too early in the morning for me and I already teach another cycle class at noon on Monday. My body is telling me that I’m getting older and that I cannot push it the way I used to push it. Joints ache and my energy depletes. I’m not twenty-five anymore and I’m not happy about it!

I’m up, dressed and ready to go. It’s not so bad once you get moving. The gym is quiet today. It’s raining and it’s Monday. I’m here so I might as well wake up and get with the program. Only eight people today but they all smile and enthusiastically begin to spin their wheels.

We exchange a few smiles and a few laughs but otherwise it’s a quiet group. I’m quiet too. My energy is mellow and a little hung up in grey just like the day. But by the end of the class I’m feeling good and so glad I got up and taught my class today. My week has a start that is positive. What I did in the last hour is what I have now become. A well paced soul who got out of bed ad started the day with a good workout, a few smiles and a couple of laughs. It may be raining and grey but I am smiling and sunny.

Life does become what life does.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

Life becomes what life does – meeting a challenge

I spent about a month trying to make a YouTube. Now that may seem like a long time but it you have ever tried t make a video of yourself talking you know that it is so easy to make a mistake, forget what you are trying to say and fumble with the technology. It took me several tries to get what I wanted. And even then it is still amateur. But I guess that is what You Tube is supposed to be…an amateur approach to communication.


I must admit it has been fun and is somewhat rewarding to accomplish this task. I have asked around and nobody else I know has done a You Tube. So for someone who has been such a techno- phobe in the past I am not doing too bad.

When you meet a challenge and mount those little hills of success there is always a feeling of pride. Even if no one ever sees my You Tube – I can say I did it. Mastering something changes your perspective on life. Life becomes what we make it become.

Next week I am posting my own talk show along with my You Tube video. I’m signing up for French lessons. I’m staring the New Year with a change in perspective. I am no longer a techno- phobe. I’m getting an I phone and joining the ranks. I’m becoming a quasi-techno player. Do something new and your life becomes enriched. Life becomes what life does. Do it while you can.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful life a New Focus

As I look ahead to the New Year I can’t help but setting new goals for myself. Can I see these through to the end or will I simply make a few resolutions and quickly forget? Will they lose their importance? Will I have the self discipline needed to stay focused?


This year I am going to take French lessons. I’ve always wanted to learn to speak French. We’re going to France in late May of 2011 and I would like to be able to practice a newly learned art of communication.

Now it’s been something I’ve been thinking about doing for a few years and never got around to it. Then about two days ago I saw an ad in the paper for French lessons. Two nights later I found the flyer for the language school in a local restaurant. The price is right, the time is right so I think I’m going to do it.

I’ve always wanted to live in France for a short while as I would love to absorb the culture in a way that can only be done by living in a place. I did that here in Los Angeles when I moved from Maine to LA!

Yesterday as I was driving down Wilshire Blvd and then onto the freeway, I realized how easily I moved about the city. I have become absorbed into the Southern California culture. When I first moved here it was all so over whelming. I would get exhausted and over stressed from the noise, activity and traffic. Now all those things are simply annoyances that most days I simply accept as part of my life.

8 weeks for 80 minutes a week at $225.00 to learn to speak beginning French. It’s a commitment that sounds like fun. It’s something I’ve thought about doing for years. Perhaps it’s time to stop thinking about it and just do it. That’s how goals get met and success is found.

Looking back over the year – I spent quality time with my family, no one was sick or injured, I went on Safari in Africa, my marriage got stronger, I finished and published my book, I got a new porche, my friendships endured, I saved a little money, I passed the two year remission mark for cancer, and I really appreciated every day - for if you have your health – you have it all. Not a bad year!

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life Things Don’t Add Up

The party was a bore. It was very small and mostly comprised of the new girlfriend’s friends. No ex’s and very controlled. She seemed to be in charge which seemed strange but at least there wasn’t a parade of people all connected through romance gone stale.


My intuition and observation told me that things did not add up. The connection was not clear. The host was from another time and place while the girlfriend and her friends were from a much younger era and clearly not in the same league as the host. Things just didn’t add up. Rock and roll early fifty meets artsy seventy-five? But that was just my observation. I’ll reserve judgment and watch quietly as the story unfolds.

Today it is raining and I don’t even want to go out. I would love to stay home all day nestles in my warm cozy robe and do nothing but read and sleep. But that would be lazy of me. Things don’t add up. It’s not like me to be lazy. Usually I’m up and moving even when I’m not feeling good. But then I realize I’m not feeling good and that’s exactly why my energy is low – so things do add up.

Some times in life things don’t add up. 2 + 3 don’t equal 4! And 2+2 cannot be found. Have you ever been in a situation where things didn’t make sense? Or was it your own perception that clouded the view? Most times if you examine the situation things become perfectly clear. But when you get that odd feeling that things aren’t as they are made out to be – it’s a good idea to listen with your eyes, your ears and your perception.

Your intuition is a good guide if you don’t let judgment and critical thinking get in the way. Last night I observed quietly the nuances of the situation. I left with a haunting perspective that only time will tell if my intuition is right. Either way – the party was a bore and adding things up is not something I think I will focus on today. Today I’ll focus on feeling better. May-be I’ll just stay inside on a rainy day and be grateful that I don’t need to venture out into the world today. I’ll just get up- get dressed and make the most of the day. That way things will add up just like 2+2 = 4!

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life Dreading a Party

Tonight we are going to a party. I am dreading it because the last time I went to a party at this person’s house the scene was uncomfortable. It was birthday/house warming party. He was also introducing us to the new girl he was dating. When we arrived not only did we meet the new girlfriend but we also met about 6 of his past girlfriends and his ex-wife. The party was more about his conquest than about his birthday or may-be that was the point – he was getting older and wanted to reassure himself he was a virile man.


The woman he was dating seemed very perplexed. The ex-wife got drunk. The other women paraded around with new boyfriends. It all seemed quite bizarre. I’m not looking forward to a reenactment. The woman he was dating has long since disappeared. There have been several others since her but none have lasted.

So why am I dreading this party? It’s an opportunity to watch people on parade. I think it is because he likes to brag about his conquest. I find it distasteful to hear about women referred to as anatomy and notches on his belt. But that is my problem. I am being judgmental where observation would be a better approach.

To observe without judgment is a very difficult task. We all like to add our own point of view. In yoga we use the witnessing consciousness to step back from a situation and learn to observe without judgment. The need to judge is removed for often times our judgments are wrong. Everything we ob serve is simply an opportunity to learn. There is no wrong or right but simply a choice to make.

It is best if I reserve my judgment and approach this whole event as simply an opportunity to observe. It is not up to me to past judgment. Life becomes what life does and the actions one takes creates the direction of one’s life. What is right for one person is not necessarily right for another person. It is up to each of us through careful observation to decide what is right for us and not to judge others for the directions they have taken.

I am still dreading the party. I don’t enjoy parties where women are pitted against each other like objects or trophies that have been won. But that is my issue. These women either knowingly or unknowingly participated or perhaps they were manipulated into believing that they were being invited to be someone special again. Whatever the cause I’ll try to observe and rise above the need to judge.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life – Bad Habits

Just what is a bad habit? Isn’t a bad habit a subjective thing? May-be we could define it as something that does more harm than good to your life. There are lots of psychological explanations for why we develop bad habits. Basically psychology tells us we are trying to fill a void. Something is missing so we fill it with destructive habits. Yoga defines this as greed.


Psychology would have us look at the habit and how it affects our life. Then we would look at how eliminating this habit from our life would make our life better. We should work to replace one bad habit with a good habit. Of course a good psychologist would work to have us get at the base of our unhappiness and why we feel compelled to act out in a way that is destructive. Yoga would approach this task a bit differently. It would ask us to take a vow between you and you. Only you can decide that a habit must be changed. The idea is to achieve a state of happiness and peace of mind. This can only be done by inner refection or gathering the life force. The life force is an undisturbed mind.

To practice a vow from a state of an undisturbed mind is to achieve peace of mind. Peace of mind can only be found when we move beyond the conscious thought and into the realm of the unconscious. It works like this – if you take a vow to not eat candy anymore and then you spend the rest of the time craving and thinking about the candy the mind is disturbed. It is far better to “moderate.” Allow yourself to eat one piece of candy and not the whole bag. Unscatter the mind by approaching all things with moderation and when you cannot fully keep your vow do not get disturbed. Work to reach the subconscious mind. This is the place of pace and serenity. Seek out wise ways to quiet the mind so that the subconscious mind – the mind beyond thought is at peace. Peaceful souls naturally act in peaceful ways because from the subconscious mind all energy negative and positive springs forth.

The practice of yoga is far more than the poses and postures. It is about taking the conscious mind into the subconscious realm and reorganizing it to produce genuine happiness and gentleness. A habit cannot be changed on any level until we recognize that it is peace of mind that insures balance and it is balance that makes all things joyful.

Psychology teaches us to choose between the action that makes us feel good about ourselves and the one that makes us feel bad. Yoga teaches us to simply be at peace with ourselves. Being a t peace erases the need to choose between good and bad because ultimately there is no good or bad – it’s subjective. A quiet mind and a steady being at the heart of the soul brings a life of peace and a life of peace lives freely without the constraints of the so called bad habits.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life Surviving Family Drama

There is always some kind of family drama in every family. It’s the stuff that bonds us and tears us apart. Sometimes we console and reconnect in a warm and intimate way through problems. It gives us the connection.


Every holiday brings some kind of drama to everyone’s life. What was yours? Mine was a situation I have been sworn to secrecy not to tell but gave me an opportunity to be a friend and a confidant as well as a mother to my son and my daughter. This is something we haven’t done in years. I have full confidence that only the best will come from all of this drama…that now exist in my world.

Why do we have such a love /hate relationship with emotions and drama? Without a little we do get bored. Nothing we love anymore than a little family gossip to keep things interesting. Family gatherings give us a chance to share memories and to gather new material and information. We reconnect through blood ties with people we hardly ever see but still somehow have such meaning in our lives.

Of course the best kind of drama is when we can step back with a smile and take it all in stride. Who cares if the dinner was a little over done, someone is always late for the party and plans need to be adjusted or changed. It’s our ability to be flexible and roll with the “snowballs” that make the difference between a family gathering that is enjoyed for all its idiosyncrasies and an event that is full of rigid frustration.

Soon the festivities are over for another year. The drama loses its grip and we all move on. It’s a time of patience and a time to remember that the true meaning of family gatherings is the bond and the love we share and not the drama of the moment.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life Merry Christmas with a Birthday Twist

It’s that time of year for celebration, family, friends and good cheer. Another year has passed us by. It is a time to reflect and a time to set new goals. For me it’s another year older as I approach my birthday which happens to be December 23rd.


Now I know for most people the older you get the harder the birthdays come…but to have your birthday in the middle of the Holiday season adds a twist to all the nostalgia. Anyone who shares this birthday time with me knows what I mean.

There is so much hustle and bustle about that your birthday can slip through the cracks unnoticed due to all the holiday parties that somehow take presentence over your birthday. There are presents to buy and holiday treats to bake. Who wants to stop and by a birthday card, a present and bake a birthday cake in the middle of all the celebrating?

When you were young you got the same toys for your birthday that you got for Christmas. Other children who had birthdays in the spring or the summer got new bikes. You got skates and a sled…just like all the other children got at Christmas time.

As we get older some birthdays hit us harder than others. Thirty hit me hard and I must say the transition to forty-five was a bit of a wakeup call. Forty-five just seemed like an adult. But up until now I’ve just rolled with the years. I won’t share with you how old I’m about to be…that would be ungracious of me but let’s just say it’s giving me time to pause. The years roll by so very fast. I realize that now is the time to do the things that I want to do and now is the time to enjoy my present state of being because I will never be any younger than I am now. Now is the time to enjoy a fading decade.

This year on my birthday I orchestrated a birthday party for me in Maine. My immediate close family will be there to celebrate. It will be a festive and joyous time for our family. A quiet dinner with my parents, two children, daughter in law, two grandsons, my brother and my husband – my family.

I haven’t been home to Maine or had my whole family together to celebrate my birthday and Christmas in twenty years. Next year when I reflect back I’ll be very glad I was born two days before Christmas so I could orchestrate a family party just before Christmas when the chaos of gifts opening, last minute parties and holiday feasting sometimes overshadow a special family gathering that is all about sharing a birthday cake with the one’s you love.

Another year and another reminder to live and enjoy NOW! Happy holidays.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful life Cheesecake Indulgence

Last night I shared a piece of rich and creamy New York Cheesecake with my husband. It was real New York Cheesecake; the kind I remember from living on the East Coast. It was delicious. It was a self indulgence of calories that once eaten made me realize that although it was delicious if I continued to eat more cheesecake it would leave an indelible mark. Self indulgence in small quantities can be fun and feel so good at the time but it is the end result that matters. For every action there is a reaction. Every cause has an effect.


Now you may be thinking – a little cheesecake indulgence is not all that bad. That’s right - it’s when the one piece turns into three that a little self indulgence becomes out of control. After I ate the cheesecake; I thought about the cheesecake. I reflected upon its ability to please my palette but only for a few short moments and then it was gone.

I’ve self indulged in things before. But always with a sense of control. I never wanted to step over the line of destruction. Actually I’m quite self disciplined. I wonder if this is an in bred gene or as the result of needing to maintain control because I never felt there was anybody there to take care of me.

As I ate the cheesecake last night I thought to myself – it’s a good thing I’m teaching two classes tomorrow. I need to balance out this little self indulgence with a little self discipline. That’s balance and balance is I believe the key to living a life that has joy, fun and play while at the same time keeping your feet on the ground and your center intact.

Doctor Lynn

http:www.doctorlynn.com

A Successful Life Star Spotting and oh that laugh

Last night I was in a restaurant in Brentwood California when I spotted another star or who I thought was a star. Hollywood and the vicinity are full of look a likes so one is never sure if it is really a celebrity or not. It’s also a bit of a surprise to see a star in real life. They are out of context and often times don’t resemble the image you see on TV or in the movies.


My husband looked around the room and then asked me if it was her. I wasn’t sure but it sure looked a lot like her. She looked good for a woman her age. She must be in her eighties. So I watched her carefully without letting on that I was in a sense stalking her.

I’m sure most stars are used to being starred at in public places. Sometimes people stare at me in public places. I’m never sure why. Do I have something on my face? Is my hair a mess or do I have one of those faces that people like to stare at. We are all voyeurs of sorts and when we have someone really interesting like a star to watch in real life and in real time it makes it even more interesting.

There is an art to watching stars in a public place. Never get caught starring and if you do subtly look about the room as if you hadn’t even noticed they were sitting in the same restaurant. Nonchalantly you appear to glance but really you are taking in every detail while craftily not getting caught.

Suddenly her mouth opened and she let out a laugh that could only come from the real deal. No one could mistake that laughter for a anyone else than Phyllis Diller. I nodded to my husband – she’s real that’s her alright!

Our food was served. My stalking ended. The next time I looked up she was gone.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life a lunch date with the girls

Girl friends and girl talk is very important to most women. Perhaps it takes us back to the days when we were nestled together in a village totally reliant upon each other for emotional and survival support. Sometimes the little chats I have with my girlfriends after exercise classes are so enriching.


When a new student comes to my class and especially if they are new to the area they often seek me out at the end of the class. They want to chat. They seem to need the soothing and reassuring voice of a woman friend.

I remember all too clearly moving to Los Angles without any family or friends. I can still feel the loneliness that comes from being in a new place without a network of support. That is why I make it a point to welcome new people to my class and to reach out and give them a little support.

Recently I have met two women who are here from foreign countries. Their husband and fiancé brought them here because of their work. These women were very lonely and a bit lost. They found their way to my classes. Some days it was their only connection with the outside world. To see them smile when I said good morning and extended myself to them left me with a good feeling. I remember all too clearly the few people who reached out and befriended me when I was alone in a city that sometimes can be so cold.

Today I’m having lunch with two women who have become friends. Not especially close friends but good friends. I now reach out and work hard to maintain my friendships even though we all get busy. It takes work to make and maintain friendships but it is worth the effort.

Chatting up and laughing is what we all do best. Sometime we shed a few tears, but that is ok because it is all kept sacred between girl friends.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/

A Successful Life… and the fog rolls

Its early morning in Southern California and the fog has rolled in around my condo. We just had two days of sunny and 80 degrees weather in mid December. It was a nice break but the fog and the cold of winter has now returned.


Mother Nature in her all powerful way from time to time and from place to place breaks the patterns of seasons with changes that bring relief and sometimes bring us such destruction. Today is simply a return to the normal winter weather of Southern California.

Most of the time here in sunny California whether it be summer or winter the fog is present in the mornings. There are days when I can’t even see the street below because the fog is so thick. It’s just another day and life moves on.

What does a foggy morning have to do with living a successful life? Taking the time to notice the intricacies of life. Taking time to notice the every day events and when something out of the ordinary happens – like a warm sunny day breaks through the fog of winter- taking a moment to appreciate and marvel at the wonders of Mother Nature – that’s living a successful life.

We’re several hours into the morning now and the fog is still with us. It is beginning to feel like rain is in the air. Moods change and behaviors change according to the dictates of nature. The ability to flow with life whether the day be sunny and bright or dark and gloomy is a maker of living a successful life.

Doctor Lynn

http://www.doctorlynn.com/