Thursday, August 26, 2010

Back story Post Aug 26

I am now working long hours editing, organizing and trying to bring all the pieces together while I teach and try to manage a personal life. Staying focused and to task is essential if I am to meet my deadlines. I do have a habit of setting very high goals for myself and then challenge myself to meet these goals sometimes with unrealistic expectations. I realize that I am not going to make my goal of September 1st . The book will still be in the editing stage and the video will not be done. But I need to do it right and it is better to take longer. Everything in life takes longer and cost more.

On top of all of this my back and knees are giving me a bit of a twinge. I’m now seeing a physical therapist two days a week. Just as I’m seeing the goal in view my body is beginning to rebel. Next week I have to have surgery on my teeth so I will be out for about three days.

Underneath my focused self I am feeling a bit depressed. I feel the aging of my body and the lack of energy that was so prevalent in my youth. Now I’m not old…or at least I don’t think I am..but I’m beginning to feel the slowing down that comes with approaching a certain age.

I still think of myself as thirty-five. I think I arrested at that age and never thought of myself as growing older. Now as I approach a new era my body lets me know that it does not have the energy or the ability that it had many years ago.

Here in lies a contradiction. I’ve exercised my whole life and my body shows it. I’m as fit as most twenty year olds. I’ve eaten relatively healthy over the years. However my body is beginning to show the signs of over use. And I hear this story from other active and fitness minded people. If you don’t exercise you negatively affect your health but if you are really active like me you also end up with back, knee, shoulder and hip issues!

So I need to change my routine. That is why I developed my exercise video. I want to stay sexy and energetic but realize that I can’t keep up the pace of cycling every day. Did you know that exercise enhances your sexuality? Cycling, yoga and aerobics it appears enhances sex for it’s participants more than for those who are inactive. So I developed Doctor Lynn’s Xercise for a Sexy Body-Mind which is combination yoga for flexibility and balance and low impact aerobics for cardiovascular strength and body toning. All good for sex!

And guess what? It really makes you sweat and feel good. So here I am about to embark on this venture and my back and knees are yelling at me to give it a break…oh yah and I’m sleeping a tremendous amount. So it’s physical therapy, rest and positive thinking and once again I will prevail. Remember in life there will always be set backs and obstacles to overcome. It is the person who pushes on even when the going gets rough that wins the game.

Doctor Lynn

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Back story Post Aug 25th

A practical plan: If you want to make something come to fruition you need a workable plan. You can desire something but if you don’t have an organized plan it will never happen. Now remember desire is a tricky thing. You can say you want something but doubt you will get it or be afraid that you will get it and sabotage your dream. Most people don’t believe they deserve to get what they want in life so they sit on the side lines depressed and sad. They also are ready to give up at the first sign of defeat. To realize a dream you must be persistent with absolute faith.

When I was single I knew exactly the type of man I wanted to meet and decide that I would not marry again until I met him. Over the years I dated, lived with and got engaged to several men. None of which filled the bill. Each time I moved on. I did get discouraged. But something inside me kept pushing onward. I was not going to settle for less than what I desired.

Through perseverance and a carefully crafted plan I finally met and married the man I was destined to meet. But it did not happen without faith and an organized plan. Yesterday I was talking to one of my students who is single and lonely. She would like to get married. She has no plan and believes that there is nobody out there for her. I told her to get a plan and to have faith. If I could do it – anyone can do it.

Now back to my project. I started with a book and then the book became a video and then the video became a class and then the class became a platform and then the platform became my voice. To implement my project I needed a plan. But I also needed to be flexible and ready to adjust the plan as needed. Remember this is all about what it takes to be successful at any endeavor.

Here’s how to build a plan:

Ally yourself with as many people as possible to help you carry out your plan. You need someone to support you, someone to encourage you, someone to help you with the tasks you cannot do. Napoleon Hill calls this the “Master Mind Principle”. It simply means that you ally yourself with others who work with you in harmony towards the same end goal. You must all be on the same page.

Second you must decide what you can offer these individuals. No one will work for nothing. If you can offer them some kind of compensation ( and it need not be money) people will come together in a cooperative effort to reach a goal. When I wanted to shoot my video and my budget was nil I ran an ad offering experience, credit and fun. The response was overwhelming with people willing to work for no pay in exchange for experience and credit.

Once you’ve organized the group set up meetings. Keep the communications flowing to perfect the plans and then finally maintain harmony between yourself and the members of the group. No one wants to be dictated to or spoken down to. With encouragement and respect people will work in harmony.

Keep in mind that you are undertaking a project that is extremely important to you. Your plans must be faultless so therefore you must take advantage of the expertise and experience of those around you. Working in harmony with respect for all will ultimately bring you success.

Doctor Lynn

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Back story post Aug 24

I narrowed my search down to about five people and then asked each one to give me a price. Now if you search hard enough you can find people who will do work for free. They want experience and credit but my experience tells me that you get what you pay for and that I needed someone who knows what they are doing and can get the job done. However the economy is tight so everyone is negotiating. Also any time you are looking for someone to hire – get a few prices because they will surely be different. The prices I got were from $5000 to $300! Quite a range for the same job. So I wrote back to the three high priced guys and said they were far beyond my range. Suddenly they were all in a bidding war to get me the best price. They all settled somewhere around $500.00 which is what I expected to pay.

Now this all brings me up to present day. I’m leaving tomorrow for Cleveland Ohio for a wedding and then onto Maine for a week. We’ve rented a cottage on a lake for the week. No internet service and no town nearby. We’re in the boondocks. I’m unplugging but not before I frantically finish all the details of this project.

For the last few months I’ve been working long days. Putting in about 12 hours a day for 6 days a week. I’m exhausted. Everything goes live in September so I’m a bit overwhelmed with details. To top it all off I found out I need to have teeth surgery the end of August, I have a cyst on my liver that is getting bigger and now needs to be watched, I have tendentious in my knees and my back is beginning to ache. Oh and there is a good chance I’ve been walking around with pneumonia! Just as I’m climbing up a long hill I have to struggle to hang on. But I’ve got a plan – like Napoleon Hill I’m following a prescribed set of steps that are major attributes of great leadership which is what is takes to accomplish a goal;

1. Unwavering courage, 2. Self control 3. A keen sense of justice, 4.Definiteness of decision, 5. Definiteness of plans, 6. The habit of doing more than paid for, 7.A pleasing personality, 8. Sympathy and understanding, 9. Mastery of details, 10. Willingness to assume full responsibility, 11. Cooperation

However if you are weak in any one of these areas, a smart leader hires people to fill the void. Over the years I have assessed my strength and my weaknesses. Wisdom teaches you to not be a “know it all” and get help when needed. Constructive criticism can be the best advice of all. Most people in life fail, it seems, because they don’t have the “stick to it-ness” that is needed to overcome hurdles and finally reach your goal. They give up at the first sign of resistance.

I’m exhausted and in need of some rest and although I will be editing my book and working on my new exercise class while in Maine, I won’t be teaching or have any deadlines to meet. I’m going to unplug and enjoy the beauty of nature. Balance after all is found when you get focused, centered, quiet and still. And what I need is to bring a little balance back into my life.

Doctor Lynn

Monday, August 23, 2010

A successful Life Aug 30

To find and experience true love; to be in love; passionately love. Of all of life’s experiences to fall passionately in love is top of the list. When I was younger I fell passionately in love. It was and is to this day the love experience of my life. He broke my heart and moved on. It took me a long time to realize that I had been successful. Many people go through life without ever feeling or experiencing true passionate love. We cannot simply choose to fall in love and often times fall in with the wrong person but the experience is something I am glad I had in my life. Even though the departure hurt I felt deep in my soul the depths of love and to me that is one of the ingredients to a successful life.

Doctor Lynn

Friday, August 20, 2010

Back story Post Aug 20th

Laura is a lovely young woman. Her studio was very professionally run. I was very impressed with her approach and she told me she had a good feeling about me. The location is on a nice street in Beverly Hills. There is plenty of parking although you need to park about a block away in a parking garage.

Laura wanted me to use one room and teach both a cycle class and a yoga class. I wanted a studio space where I could teach my new class as well as a yoga and cycle class. This seemed ideal but there was a catch.

The studio was designed to be a Pilate’s studio. Laura had three rooms full of Pilate’s equipment. The bikes she had purchased for the cycle class were crammed in the corner behind the reformers. She thought I could drag out the bikes and place them around the room between the Pilates equipment and for yoga I could place the mats between the reformers. She was trying very hard to make something more out of something that did not have the capacity.

I explained to her that the classes needed their own space. We needed a separate room. She told me there was some empty space downstairs that she would consider co-leasing with me. We looked at the place. It needed to be fitted out as a studio. It was ground level so it would be costly and I only wanted to rent studio space for a couple of hours a week. This just was not going to work out. I really liked Laura and was sad that we couldn’t make it work.

So I began the hunt for studio space. I told all my students I was looking for space. Several students brought me leads of space that would be available. Either the times available didn’t work or the location didn’t work. I drove around looking for possibilities. It was beginning to seem futile. Then I ran into one of my cycle students, Nikos. I told him I was looking for studio space and he said he knew just the right spot. He had been looking for some space to start a project and found a great yoga space that was empty. He heard that the guy who leased it was never there and that he might be giving it up.

I left and immediately went to see the studio. It is located in the Village of Westwood near UCLA. Across the street is a parking garage with free two hour parking. This was starting to look good. It was in a court yard just off the street. I walked into the courtyard that was tiled, with plants, very quiet and with a water fountain that created a sense of tranquility. The studio was empty. I peered into the window and there it was – Eureka another find! The studio was open with natural light. It had lovely wood floors and bamboo sheets across the extra tall ceilings. I fell in love with the space.

Determined I went to the directory but could not find the studio owners name or phone number. Seemed they were going out of business just as Nikos had said. So I wrote down the number for the leasing office. I went home and searched Google for the name of the yoga studio and found a phone number. Isn’t the internet great! I called and left a message. I also called the leasing office and left a message. The next day the leasing office called.

Doctor Lynn

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Back story Post Aug 19th

A video! Now my budget was limited but I really wanted to take the exercises in the chapter and make them into a simple video that could be downloaded from my website. So I posted an ad on Craig’s list about looking for interns who wanted to help me with a fifteen minute video project. I would give them credit, pay expenses and give them experience. I live in LA. The economy is bad in LA and there are a lot of out of work movie people. I was inundated with emails from people who wanted to be paid, to people who just wanted to get involved. John a director and camera man sent me an email and told me that he was between jobs and would be happy to help me for the credit. It’s good to be working even when not getting paid and who knows..One lead might lead to another. I met with John and he was perfect. He had all the equipment and could shoot it in one day. I would hire a couple of interns to help, I had access to the function room at our condominium complex free of charge and easily lined up three interns to come by and help.

We set a date. I wrote and practiced the script. I made sure we had lunch, snacks, drinks and free parking. It all started to come together. Rebecca my intern agreed to make a cover for the DVD, Ann Marie had shot pictures of me to match the DVD, John had all the equipment, I had the script but I needed music. I could not use any music that I did not have the right to use. So I contacted Daniel my first intern and asked him if he had any music he would like to contribute for credit and promotion of his music and his band. He replied back and immediately sent me about 6 songs. Three of which worked perfectly. The whole project came together in a flash. It was like everything had finally lined up and was positioned to work synergistically.

So we shot the DVD. Then I got an email from a company that was starting an online live exercise gym and asked me if I would like to teach a class or two. Eureka! I now had platform as well as a product. The problem was that this was a start up and it would take a while to make it happen. But that was ok because I had a team that would help me launch this whole thing.

Now the DVD was only 1/3 of the Doctor Lynn’s Xercise for a Sexy Body-Mind. There was part two and three. About a year ago I had tried to teach a freestyle class combination of yoga and dance. The idea was readily accepted by my students but the freestyle was beyond their reach. They wanted something choreographed and easy to follow. So that class failed but the feedback was invaluable. I knew what they wanted and quickly began to choreograph the second and third part to the new exercise class.

Using my IPod I made a playlist, put time aside and practiced at perfecting my routine. I made it simple, easy, low impact while using all the right moves to make you sweat and work all the right muscles and body parts. In my mind’s eye I envisioned the whole class. Now I wanted to teach it in person and perfect it before I went live on the internet. So I decide to try and find some studio space.

I went out to dinner with my step son and his wife and mentioned to them I was looking for studio space. A week later Emily sent me an email and told me she was at a party where she met a woman who owned a Pilates studio and she was looking for someone to teach yoga and cycle…Eureka!

Another Eureka moment where the solution to a problem suddenly out of nowhere appears. So I went to meet Laura, the Pilates studio owner.

Doctor Lynn

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Back story post 26 August 18

I hired Boris to set up my Face book and Twitter accounts and to teach me how to tweet. I started getting up at 5:30 AM so I could blog, post, Face book and tweet before I went to teach classes and then worked on the book. Suddenly I was working 12 hour days and dreaming and analyzing my project through the night.

Boris had some big ideas for me and told me he really believed in my projects and in me. He felt I had a strong image that he could help me create. I needed a presence in the social media arena. So after the initial project I hired him for a fee to help me take it to the next level. He suggested I needed some new pictures for my website, face book and twitter that better reflected me. The pictures on my site were about three years old so I agreed. He had a friend who would do the job for a nominal fee. He assured me I would love her.

He introduced me to a red headed Irish girl named Anne Marie who had an infectious laugh and a creative style that I knew would reflect the image I wanted to portray. I wanted the pictures to reflect me and what I was doing. She got it. She shot it and the pictures got posted. Being an Irish girl from back East but originally from Ireland she immediately got my approach to life. Herbs, folk medicine and the magic, that was not too far reaching for her. She just got it. Wow how did this person fall into my life at this time? But as I said this was only one of a number of significant meetings in my life.

Here is one thing I have learned. One of the secrets of success in any endeavor is to have significant meeting happen in the juncture of your creativity.

Now this would be a good time to back up and tell you that I had been at this for a long time and I had either come up short or failed at making this all come together on several attempts. But something in me kept persisting. Reflecting back I remember reading and rereading my favorite book, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. In the book there is a story about a little poor girl who would show up each day outside the office building of a rich man. She would ask him each day for a penny. This of course was when a penny was worth something. Each day he would shoo her away. The next day she would show up, same time and same place and ask for a penny. This went on for weeks. Finally the man realized that the only this little girl would go away was if he gave her a penny. So he did and the girl got what she wanted. Persistence paid off. I’ve never forgotten that story and each time I did not get what I wanted I tried again. Sometimes I would retreat and re-evaluable my plan and then I would march forward with determination. Always taking the time to reflect on the things that I allowed to stand in my way of success. I would then work on removing negatives and replacing them with a little magic.

There are no failures, just ill conceived plans and an inability to reorganize and persist. The basis of persistence is will power and will power is a might force. From sheer will power anything is possible. But it need not be cold and forceful. When I was young I thought it to be true. However as I have aged I have realized that you can will things in a gentle way. In fact the simple release of your desires backed by a gently will to succeed, and wishing for only good, turns the tide and allows things to flow to you. This is exactly what happened to me and I did it by also employing a little magic.

At the time I met Boris I was about 125 pages into the book I was writing, which can be found on my website. The book is titled Sex Matters and Pleasure Delights. It’s a book about natural sexual health. Why? Because your sexuality is the very first thing you are when you come in this world and the very last thing you take with you. It defines your life so a close examination of the natural aspects of having good sex seemed like a good topic. Being a Naturopath, aroma therapist, herbalist, yoga and fitness instructor; the essence of the book seemed a creative endeavor. But this is a story about writing the book and making this major project I have undertaken work.

I was about to write the chapter on Xercise for a Sexy Body-Mind when it dawned on me that this chapter needed…

Doctor Lynn

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Back story Post 25 Aug 17

Here is where the story gets really interesting. I was about 125 pages into writing my book. I knew it would take another two months to finish and then another month to edit. My focus was on the book. I had just finished writing a chapter on Xercise for a Sexy Body-Mind. Rebecca my summer intern was going to start in about two weeks. Social media was a buzz word that meant nothing to me.

The doorbell rang and in walked Boris and Natasha.

Not really Boris and Natasha from the Rocky and Bullwinkle show but standing in my doorway they looked just like them and it appeared they were on a mission. And I mean this is such a positive way. Both had character, were strong and connected. Now I call them Boris and Natasha ,not because they reminded me of Russian spies but because well Boris was a lot shorter than Natasha who was extremely tall and thin. She wore over the knee wedge boots with probably a 4 to 5 heel and tight black jeans and top. He was very intellectual looking. Boris wore glasses, a jacket and jeans. He’s was carrying his laptop. Natasha has long beautiful brown hair. Boris has this persona that is intriguing. Natasha is lovely with a beautiful smile. They were on a mission.

Boris introduced me to Natasha his girlfriend and asked if it was ok that she came along for the meeting. He assured me that she would have some good input. After sharing a few niceties about each other, I shared with them my mission and what I needed. Boris wanted to take on the mission. He began to explain to me the details and importance of social media and why he thought I should hire him. Like I said he was very intelligent and made a good case. He offered to do some work setting up my face Book and twitter accounts for a nominal fee. If I liked what he did we could continue.

I immediately had an anxiety attack. First I’m a techno-phobic and second I was so swamped with trying to write the book, organize a plan and teaching classes – how could I take on blogging, face booking and tweeting every day? Besides I knew nothing about doing it. I wasn’t a kid and not very computer savvy. It was a new thing to learn and learning takes time. Boris convinced me that I needed to get my social media up and running long before the book was ready. I needed to start now so when the book comes out, I’ll have some fans. He wanted to help me create a presence and an image. He would do the work and walk me through this. Natasha assured me that he could do it and I would learn quickly.

Sometimes people come into your life in mysterious ways. I’ve always been fascinated by the fact that I could meet someone who would become significant in my life who just a moment ago never existed in my reality. This was not the first significant meeting but it was a significant meeting.

Doctor Lynn

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Back story post 22 Aug 5

On the fifth day in the hospital I got up, got dressed and waited for the Doctor to come by and release me. He did not want to let me go because – well its a long story about a catheter that I won’t share with you because some things are too boring to write. Let’s just say I got my way and I went home. I called my husband and was waiting downstairs at the pick up when he arrived. I could not wait to get home. If you have ever stayed in a hospital for an extended amount of time – let’s say even for overnight, you know what I mean.

It was so painful going home. To get in and out of the car and to ride feeling every little bump in the road. But I was going home to 6 weeks of recovery with nothing to do but rest. I could not drive for three weeks so I was housebound. But it did not matter because the pain and exhaustion were over whelming.

It’s strange how some things remain so vivid in your memory. Once home I collapsed on the couch. For the next week all I did was move from the couch to the bathroom. Taking a shower and getting dressed completely exhausted me. I could not go up and down stairs or lift anything. I lay on the couch in a narcotic stupor and stared into space for hours. I realized for the first time in my life what it was like to not be able to move, run, bend and lift. I was housebound and basically bed bound.

One day as I lay in bed feeling depression setting in upon me like a morning fog rolls in over the coast line, I began to think about yoga. I missed teaching it and I missed doing it. I wondered if my body would ever be able to move again. It was then that I realized that I could still practice yoga even if I could not bend or get off the couch. In my mind I began to practice the basics of yoga. Breathe and surrender and find peace and serenity. I visualized the poses in my head and as I took myself through the imaginary practice I felt my body come alive. I would do this again. I would get up and teach again.

I began to take daily walks and each day my gait became a little stronger. Slowly I began to do simple yoga poses. I was determined to go back to teaching both yoga and cycle in 6 weeks. I cried most every day. My hormones were up and down and my body hurt. My mind was foggy and the narcotics had really made my digestive system into a total twisted mess of extreme Irritable bowel syndrome. My stomach was swollen, scarred and protruding while my body was frail and emaciated. I had lost a lot of weight. It would be a long battle back to health but I was determined to make it.

This was the longest 6 weeks of my life. Biopsies came back clean but the year ahead was constant monitoring for any sign that the cancer would reemerge. At six weeks I went back to gym and taught my yoga and cycle classes. I am a good teacher. I’ve been doing it for years and yet that first day back I was petrified. I was so afraid that I could not do it. I was afraid my energy level would not hold up. With trepidation I returned and to my surprise I did quite well.

Doctor Lynn

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Back story Post 21 Aug 4

The surgery went well or so I was told as I awoke into a deep fog. All around me nurses were whirling, machines were pumping but I did not care. In my hand was a button which I was told was morphine for the pain. All I needed to do was squeeze the button when I felt pain and I would get immediate relief for about an hour. The pain was excruciating. My legs were wrapped in a machine that was pumping and massaging them. This I was told was so that no blood clogs could move up my body. I was numbed, drugged and helpless. It was about 3:30 PM. The surgery had been finished for about an hour. I was told that I would use the morphine button to get me through the night. I could not have any food, just juice for the next 12 hours. I could not get out of bed and every four hours I would receive a shot to keep my blood thin so I would not clot.

The pain was unbearable and every hour I would squeeze the button in my hand for relief. I held onto that button as if it was my only lifeline. The night was long with spurts of drifting in and out of consciousness. The pain would wake me every hour and I would squeeze the button for relief.

The next morning the nurse gave me pain killers (narcotics) antibiotics, prescription strength ibuprofen, something for the indigestion and stool softeners and then they took away the button! The narcotics did not kill the pain. The next day was the worse pain I have ever felt. With over 100 stitches inside the cavity of my pelvis I cried in pain. But the real pain was ahead of me. I had to get out of bed attached to an IV and a catheter. I still rammer the pain of just lifting my legs and swinging them to the side of the bed. I stepped down and fell into the chair next to the bed. The nurse who helped me told me that was a good job and now I could get back in bed. That was equally as painful. We would do that a couple of times that day and then in the afternoon she would help me take a few steps.

I was so fit. I was a fitness instructor. I was strong and here I was not even able to get out of bed! I lay in bed alone crying into the pillow. I was exhausted and as the next night began to creep in the pain and the exhaustion over took me.

I could not sleep. I lay awake taking my meds at 8 PM. The shift was changing and the night crew arrived. I large woman with a mean attitude came into my room and announced that she was the nurse for the night shift. She was so different than the other nurses who had been kind and caring. She had an attitude and obviously was an angry person. Now this part of the story is something I think needs to be told. Patient abuse does happen. I was unable to fend for myself. I was so vulnerable and so dependent upon the nursing staff. The pain intensified as the night wore on. The last traces of the morphine wore off. At about midnight I rang the nurse’s station and asked for the nurse. No one answered. It was time for my medication and the pain was intensifying. I called again at 12:30 AM. I was to receive the pain medication every 4 hours. It was now almost five hours. I called again and this time the nurse came into my room. She asked me what I wanted. I told her I needed the medication. She told me she was busy and would get it when she had the time. She left me in the bed in pain for another hour. When she arrived with the meds she threw them down on the table, kicked the bed and left.

I had a roommate who heard me crying and moaning in pain and assured me that she would be witness to me telling the doctors the next day about the abuse. I did report her. Abuse of patients does happen. I swore I would never be that vulnerable again. I would get out of bed and march right up to the nurses’ station and demand care.

So I said to myself – if you give into the pain and give into the fear you’ll never get through this – you need to move forward one step at a time and make a comeback. And so I did. Each day for the next five days, I got out of bed every 2 hours and I walked the length of the hall way in unbelievable pain as I shuffled one foot in front to the other but I was determined and each day I did a little more until on the fifth day I could walk three times back and forth the length of the hospital ward. I was determined. I was going home.

Doctor Lynn

Monday, August 02, 2010

Back story post 20 Aug 2

My husband sat beside me holding my hand as I called the Doctor. As if I was in some kind of a suspended space and time I heard the words none of us ever want to hear – you have cancer and we need to operate. I went silent. I didn’t cry. I didn’t move. After I spoke with the doctor and hung up the phone. I looked at my husband and asked him if the doctor told me I had cancer? I could not believe I just heard those words. Three years into an unstable marriage and I had cancer, would undergo a radical hysterectomy and be suddenly thrown into menopause. I went numb and then I got angry and then I cried and cried. My husband held me and told me he would take care of me. He assured me that he would be there for me but I must say I did not trust him. I was afraid and our life was so unstable but I had no choice but to surrender and accept whatever lay ahead of me.

I did not sleep that night. The next morning I began the horrible task of telling my family and close friends. I waited a week to tell my students and the gym coordinators. There were lots of tears and lots of fear in the faces of those I told. I understood. Everyone backed away as if I could give the cancer to them.

I was fit, healthy and energetic. How could I – a fitness and health nut get cancer? Everyone was shocked. If it could happen to me, well then it could happen to them. And what if I died? No one wants to be close to a person who is dying of cancer. It’s something we don’t like to talk about or face. It is very difficult to ask someone how they are feeling or about their health as they are going through this nightmare.

I remembered a few years back when a lovely woman from the gym was diagnosed with cancer. I did not know her very well so I avoided asking her about her disease, afraid that I would upset her. So I knew how others felt about approaching me. But also knew the loneliness and the isolation. I did not want to be alone with the horrible disease. Although I understood the avoidances because no one knew what to say, I felt the distance. It was as if they could void me out the fear of their own mortality would disappear. We don’t like to look at sickness and death. It reminds us that we are all subject to finality. However, there were those who hugged me and supported me. And those hugs were the dearest and most memorable part of the whole experience.

My family rallied around. It’s amazing how much support and love comers through when you can’t give any back because all you can do is hang on and pray for survival. Your body and your mind are consumed with fear, anxiety and exhaustion. There is nothing in you that can give and yet in the process of surrender and recovery there is so much more you have to give.

I had to face this head on with no choice but to accept and surrender to whatever fate handed me.

Doctor Lynn