Friday, July 30, 2010

Back story post 19 July 30

I did continue to teach yoga and once again yoga had been the one thing that had kept me sane. It had saved me again. My spirit, although wounded continued to hang on. But I must say my teaching did suffer in those early days of our relationship. I would go to class distracted and depressed. My students knew it and some even lent me an ear and a shoulder to lean on. I cried a lot. I was lost. I was so disappointed. This was supposed to be the relationship that lasted the rest of my life. I had told myself I would not get married again until I found the person I could settle down with and grow old. I thought my husband was the one. I made a mistake.

By outward appearances I had everything. We had a beautiful home, nice cars, great vacations, I had clothes, jewelry, opportunities but no stability. We would vacillate between intense fighting and love making. Our passion was extreme. It was exhausting and killing both of us. We tried counseling. That didn’t help. We were desperately trying to hang onto the last threads of our relationship and I was falling into an emotional hole filled with fear, anger and sadness.

Over the second year of our marriage I started to experience health issues. The doctor’s told me it was the beginning of menopause. I was in pain and bled sporadically between periods. And then I began to bleed all the time. I started losing weight and became extremely tired. Tests were done. Nothing was found. I went for an MRI.

The weekend after the MRI was a good one for us. We seemed to break through something. We had stumbled across a book by Terrence Real, The New Rules of Marriage. It had been the first book we had read that really seemed like it had a workable solution to marriage. What it told us was that our problems were not unique. We just needed tools to handle our marriage in a mature way. Everyone and especially people in older second, third or fourth time around marriages suffer from basically the same issues – inability to acknowledge and understand the other persons point of view. This was a working tool for us. We were both so happy believing that we may have found something that would help us make our marriage work.

We came home from dinner. I had a message on my voice mail. It was from My doctor asking me to call him at home that evening. I sat frozen. I knew this was not good. I went into shock. I went to my husband and told him the doctor wanted me to call him immediately. This was not good.

With shaking hands I dialed the number.

Doctor Lynn

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Back Story post 18 July 29

I do need to back up and tell another part to this story. When I met Dan, my now husband, he told me that he did not like scents and that he was not very spiritual. He was ok with yoga but he was into business and making money and had little time for the spiritual path. He did not believe in God or anything beyond the present life. This was all so contradictory to my beliefs and my path in life. I am a very spiritual person although I do not believe in organized religion or a great god sitting in the sky passing judgment and handing out punishments. What I do believe is the human spirit. I believe we are more than simply the body-mind and that this is not all there is to the energy of the soul. I believe in the laws of thermodynamics – energy is never lost it simply changes form and we are simply energy packets in this form and subject to constant change. But he did send me an email that I have kept all these years and I will share it with you.

Good morning (or whenever you get the computer working),

If there is a purpose to our meeting (and I am beginning to believe that there is), it is that;

-- You will bring more spiritual awareness to my life; and

-- I will bring financial stability to yours.


So although I would put my work on the back burner and make the relationship a priority, I hung onto this email and somehow knew inside that we would give something more to each other than appeared on the surface. Sadly I tucked away my work. The nectars, the aromatherapy and my writing all went dormant as I moved in with Dan and began to establish what I believed as the most important thing in my life…love. I wanted to be loved and to love and that took precedent over everything else. So I put aside my work and started the work of being married. Now I told you earlier that it was tumultuous. It almost ended in divorce. I was so lonely and so disappointed in those first few years. This is not what I had bargained for. I tried to write but the emotional instability and the struggle to survive killed all creativity. I survived but a part of me began to die. I had made a mistake. I did not want to go through another divorce. I did not want to fail so I hung on and continued to try. I should not have married this man.

Doctor Lynn

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Back Story Post 17 July 28

Let’s just say the first three years were tumultuous. Those close to me know how very difficult this marriage was from the get go. There were so many obstacles to navigate. I had been married very young and when you get married the first time you have no baggage. You simply get married (totally unaware of what you are doing) and blindly try to make a relationship work. No one prepares you for the hard work of being married. And believe me anyone who tells you it isn’t hard work has never been married or doesn’t have much of a marriage. A second, third or fourth marriage is even more difficult. No one prepares you for marriage at any level.

It all starts off with a grand party (the wedding) and a getaway honey moon. Life is bliss and you’re in love. But soon reality sets in. You begin to get on each other’s nerves and you fight. Now it is normal to argue but fighting is quite another thing. We fought. We did not know how to argue constructively. You see we both wanted to be in love and to live happily ever after. We have both been through many relationships and had been searching for the one love that would make it all work. We were both at cross roads in or lives and this was supposed to be the relationship that took us happily into old age together.

Even me approaching midlife and he in the beginning of his senior years, were both so naïve. We thought it would be simple. We were in love (or so we thought), we both wanted the same things, we had a lot in common and the sex was great. What could be the problem? Personalities, ex’s, children, insecurities, disappointments, fears and emotions; just to mention a few problems. We had to deal with each and every one of these.

We were both disappointed. Although the first three years were so difficult what held us together was the sex, the desire to make it work and not wanting to fail again. But we were failing miserably. Neither of us was happy. We were heading for a divorce.

Doctor Lynn

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Back story Post 16 July 27

As I flew across the country from LA to New York I could not get this man out of my mind. The chemistry between us was so strong. All I knew about him was that he was a lawyer with a business and going through a divorce. Now experience had taught me that you do not get involved with someone going through a divorce. They are unstable and on the rebound so the relationship is doomed. In fact the rule of thumb in the single world had always been – don’t get involved with anyone until they are at least one year post divorce. This guy was 8 months separated and probably a year away from a divorce – if in fact he actually got one at all.

I had a great weekend with Art. He is such a nice man. Grounded and stable but the chemistry was definitely missing for me. He was far more interested than I was. We had fun as we always did and talked way into the late nights. We saw the movie Unfaithful which made Art and most men cringe and made most women say – it’s about time there was a movie where the husband is the victim. It’s always the man cheating on the wife – women are tempted and cheat too!

Throughout the whole weekend I kept thinking about my internet date. I knew I would call him when I returned even though I knew in my rational mind I should let it go.

So I returned on Monday and called him Tuesday afternoon. We met for lunch on Wednesday. He asked me what I was looking for and I told him the love of my life. Someone I could grow old with in a loving and intense relationship. I wanted to travel and find my love, my best friend and my soul mate. I had been searching for years. It was the driving force in my life. His face lit up with joy. He had the same dream and had failed to find it in his life. He felt he had one more chance to find it so at the age of 62 filed for divorce after 20 years of a cold and loveless marriage to venture out and find the one person he would love and would love him without strife and for ever more.

He was hungry for love and hungry for companionship. He was lonely and sad. But the chemistry between us was addicting and we both knew it. So even though we both knew it was not the right time and there were barriers we possibly could not overcome we continued onward. The ride was less than ideal but the passion and the chemistry kept us connected.

Now I should fill you in on a few details. No not the details of our passion. That would be to kiss and tell and like I said some things are better left unwritten. Let’s just say we had a very strong sexual relationship. However the emotional part was tumultuous. The details – he was 13 years older than me. Now that may not seem like a lot but more than 10 years is a generation. Although he is a very contemporary man as time has gone on the differences in movies, music, outlook, energy, health issues and interest have appeared. This however is the least of the issues. He was going through his third divorce. There would now be two ex-wives with children in the picture and the soon to be next ex-wife and he had a son that was 14! I did not want to get involved with someone with a young child. The first ex-wife and he did not have any children. Six months into the marriage she ran off with an Argentine. The marriage was quickly ended without fanfare. But the second produced two children and the third one child and both ex-wives and all the children lived within a 10 mile radius of West LA. And the big surprise was that he was in business with the wife he was divorcing. The business was very successful and the division of it could be disastrous for everyone. He was being advised to stay in the business. They would bring in a partner to run the business and then each of them would stay involved at a distance. Didn’t happen! They stayed involved! But it was too late because by the time the divorce was final and all the dust settled into what I thought would be our life we were engaged to be married. I was caught up in bliss and wedding plans and did not look closely enough at the underlying issues. Issues never disappear. As soon as the honey moon is over and reality sets in – life looks different. I should not have married this man.

Doctor Lynn

Monday, July 26, 2010

Back story Post 15 July26

I am purposely leaving out a lot of the fine details because well, some things are better left unwritten. In life one should not kiss and tell. But let’s just say I had many years of dating. I was divorced for 25 years. I had been engaged three times, lived with a man for 7 years and had various boyfriends in-between. There were not too many relationship types I had not experienced.

I was about to go off internet dating for a while because it was exhausting. Anyone who has tried this form of meeting people knows that it takes time and after 100 emails from people who are not a match there is a feeling of needing a break. You just don’t want to tell your story one more time or hear another story from a potential date again. 80percent of the people on dating sites don’t know what they want or are playing games. It’s heady to date someone new every night and to keep several people going at the same time. We become like kids in a candy store and with each new meeting wonder if there is someone better, richer, better looking…what are we missing if we stop here?

So an email from a man who wants to meet me only signifies another round of the games. Here we go again – an email form He said in his email,” I know I’m out of your age range. I’m more than ten years older than you. But only by three years. I would like to meet you for lunch.” His picture was cute but I was sure it must be ten years old because of his age. But he told me he was 13 years older than me? Either he was actually 25 years older, he was being upfront and honest or he was naïve and new to the game. Could this be? An honest soul on So I agreed to meet him for lunch but not with a lot of hesitation. I picked a place that was convenient for me. I was not going out of my way to meet someone who probably would be older than he said and looked it!

I asked him to meet me at a local bar and grill in Belair. Might as well make it a nice lunch although the last time I met a man there, he told me he was a consultant who lived in Belair. He sent me a picture which was in fact about twenty years old. He was twenty-five years older than me and had suffered a stroke which he neglected to tell me. So when I showed up, I met a man who was limping and drooping, old and could not longer drive. He had someone drop him off at the restaurant and then asked me to drive him home. So I was not too optimistic about this new lunch date.

I called my best friend and told her I had another internet date. It would probably be quick and I’d call her in about 2 hours and give the gory details. I arrived at the restaurant and walked towards the door. Leaning against the wall was a tall good looking man dressed in a very nice suit. It was him. I recognized him from his picture. I was a bit shocked. He looked like his picture and he was waiting for me. He had reserved a table. This was a gentleman. We ordered lunch. The same thing for both of us…salad and poached salmon. We chatted and then we began to flirt. He asked me what I was looking for and I said, “someone who can take the lead.” That’s all it took. Before I knew it he moved around the table and was sitting next to me with his arm around me. He leaned over and kissed me. The chemistry went wild! We both knew it! We talked and kissed for another two hours. When we parted he asked me out for the next night for dinner. I agreed.

He called me later that day. We met for dinner the next night. He was waiting with a bouquet of flowers. Same thing. We ate dinner, kissed and parted with him asking me out for all of the next weekend. I told him I could see him one more time for dinner but then I was leaving for New York for the weekend. I would not be back until Tuesday. So we met again and when we parted he asked me to call him when I got back from New York.

I left for New York on Friday to spend the weekend with Art.

Doctor Lynn

Friday, July 23, 2010

Back Story Post 14 July 23

I was considering moving back East. Boston or New York seemed the likely places to go. My family was in Maine and either one would be closer and easier for me to visit but still keep me in the cosmopolitan atmosphere that I needed. I also thought I might have better luck finding a nice man in the North East. Los Angles can be so shallow and superficial. The only drawback was the weather. As anyone in Southern California will tell you – it’s the weather that keeps us here. After years of fighting the long cold winters of the Northeast, southern California had been so welcoming. The weather is not a consideration here. We don’t plan our events around the weather like back east. Instead we plan our events around the freeways and traffic. If you can avoid the freeways and commuting, Southern California is a great place to live. But I did find it lonely here. Everyone was from somewhere else and everyone and everything seemed very transient. It was very difficult to make close and endearing friends.

So I joined a dating site and posted my profile in New York and Boston. I immediately met a lot of men. But to my surprise the same BS was prevalent no matter where you went looking. It was the nature of internet dating. Put on a false front in hopes that when you meet the person they will look past the fact that your picture on your post was ten years old, or it wasn’t you at all, or you weighed 20 pounds more than you said or you really were unemployed, still married, had young children or whatever secrets one felt had to be hidden all came out on the internet dating sites.

Art answered my post. He was my age – good, a lawyer-educated – good, divorced for 6 years – not on the rebound- good, had one child in college-no young children- good and he was smart, witty and a nice guy. We exchanged photos and although he was not handsome there was something sincere and trustworthy about him. He lived just outside Greenwich Connecticut. He owned a home, was gainfully employed, a WASP from a good family and very down to earth. We had a lot in common. We spent hours on the phone talking and getting to know each other. Then he announced that he would like to come to LA and meet me. He would get a hotel room and fly in for one night and one day just to meet me.

He flew to LA and I drove to his hotel and we spent a day wandering around LA. I took him to Venice beach and to the Getty museum, we had dinner and he left the next day. We really liked each other. He was very attracted to me. He was everything I was looking for accept the spark was missing. He would make a great friend but the sexual chemical spark was not there. He seemed awkward and a bit nervous around me. However we continued to talk and over the next month got to know each other better.

We then made a plan for him to come to LA and we would go away to Santa Barbara for the weekend. WE had fun but the spark was missing. I asked myself if I could settle for a nice guy who was very low maintenance but without the spark. I debated this over and over. Art was smitten and let me know his intentions were to make this more than casual dating. He was so honest and so easy to talk with. He was like an old friend. I had been in this situation before where the man was smitten and I was not. They were to me good friends but to them they wanted more. I could not go there.

We made another plan. I would come to Connecticut and see if I liked it. We would talk about taking our relationship to the next level. I really liked him. It was so frustrating that the spark was missing. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I fall in love with a nice guy?

I continued to keep my post on the internet and continued to date the occasional guy. My daughter got married and she and her husband- to be, fixed me up with a date for the wedding. Sam was a dentist, alcoholic, cigarette smoker, nice guy but emotionally very immature. 50 and never been married or lived with a woman and he drank very heavily. Not a great prospect. So I moved on.

Back from the wedding I was scheduled to go and visit Art in about two weeks.

I checked my emails and there was one from a guy on wanting to meet me.

Doctor Lynn

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Back story Post 13 July 22

He told me he missed me but he understood that I was trying to launch a career, teaching classes and looking for someone closer to my own age. He was an old man. I had my life ahead of me and should try and find someone to love me and for me to love that I could grow old with. He thought he might stay in Greece. If I needed anything to send him an email and he would get back in touch with me.

I let it drop. I knew in my heart that I would be sorry if I gave away the next ten years of my life to be the companion to an old man. The money was not the issue. I had never been one to seek out money. That’s probably why I did not have any money. Love, passion and adventure had always been the driving force behind my actions. I could not marry an old man for his money even though it would certainly solve a lot of my financial problems. But like anything in life; things come with a price. At the time, ten years into the future; making me 58 looked like I would be old and alone. At 48, 58 seemed over the hill. I’m nearly 58 now and I can tell you I am not over the hill. I still think I’m 35 an have the energy of someone half my age. But all I could see was that I was on a quest to find my lover/soul mate and if I gave up now it would never happen.

I should have married Frank. Today I would be almost 58 and a rich woman. He was kind and loving and I would have made an old man happy in the later years of his life. I lost touch with Frank because something inside of me said not to lead him on or use him in any way. If I had married Frank I would not be writing this story. May-be I would be writing a different story. I do regret from time to time not marrying Frank. I would have an independence now that would carry me the rest of my life. I guess I was insecure about what people would say. They would talk and no one would believe that I truly cared for Frank. I would be labeled a gold digger and that is most likely what I would have been. So I walked away and although today I do have some regrets I know that I made the right decision, with my heart and not with my head and that has both been my downfall in life and my greatest asset.

I should have married Frank. A few months after I returned from the cruise I met a man from New York on an internet dating site. This was the early days of internet dating. I had been using the internet to meet men for about 2 years. I heard every story and met some pretty strange men. Most lied about their age and their looks. Some were nice but not for me and some were outright liars and thieves. The internet dating sites were the new social outlet for single people and for married people looking to have affairs. Yes I met a lot of married men looking to cheat on their wives. Long before social media, internet dating was a vehicle that would plunge you instantly into meeting people you would never ever meet in your life. Some of it was good and some of it was bad; that’s the internet!

Anyway after two exhausting years I met Art.

Doctor Lynn

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Back Story Post 12 July 21

Frank asked me if I would like to see the ports with him away from the crowd and the guided tours. He had been to these ports before and would get a taxi and show me parts of the cities that the rest of the passengers would not see. I am not one for crowds and tours so this sounded like fun to me. In every stop we had one adventure after another. In Portugal we stumbled into a local restaurant for lunch. Frank asked the local business men if the cod was fresh. Before we knew it they were ordering for us and started sharing their wine with us. In broken English we all laughed and enjoyed a lunch of fresh cod and good Portugal wine. In Gibraltar Frank and I climbed to the top of the Rock of Gibraltar and looked out across the Mediterranean to Morocco. The next day we were in Morocco where Frank hired a driver. He took me to a rug store where we haggled and drank mint tea. I bought a beautiful old rug that I still have and love to this day.

Every night we would have dinner and then go dancing. Frank was an excellent dancer. He made me laugh. He held my hand and gave me sweet hugs and soft kisses on the forehead but never asked me for more. He was very satisfied to have my company. We had so much fun and well we did grow to love each other. We became an item on the ship as we spent the rest of the cruise together.

Three nights before the cruise was to end Frank told me over dinner that he wanted to ask me something. He told me that he was alone with no ex-wife or children. He had a few good friends but no one to leave his money. He was worth about 10 million – give or take depending upon the stock market. He asked me to be his companion. He said he had a condo in Fort Lauderdale with a private room and bath for me. But first he needed to tell me something. He asked me how old I was. I told him I was 47 and then he dropped a bomb shell. He was 86!

I did love Frank but not tin the romantic way that I had dreamed. I was in search of the second love of my life. Frank was an old man who wanted a companion. He wanted me to give up my life in California and move in with him and take care of him. He wanted a pretty young woman by his side and nothing more. Frank was in great shape for 86 and I knew he would easily live another 10 years. I tossed the proposition around in my head. To give up the next ten years of my life to take care of an old man – all be it I did really care for Frank and I loved him in the way you love a old friend but it meant giving up the last end of my youth and the prospects of finding a man closer to my age that I could grow old with.

In three days we would land in Barcelona where I would depart and head back to Los Angeles. Frank would continue on to Greece. I had work commitments, my children and my future to think about. Frank did not push me for an answer but said he would call me. He told me that I was young and beautiful and deserved to find a man close to my own age but if I wanted to be taken care of he would do it. He also said if that if I found another man, he understood. In Barcelona we hugged good bye as tears rolled down both of our cheeks. I boarded the bus that would take me to the airport. I missed Frank but somehow knew I would never see him again.

Frank called me from Greece.

Doctor Lynn

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Back story post 11

Breakfast was served in the ship’s cafeteria buffet style. It was casual and available from 7 to 10 AM. I went for coffee and some fruit. I found a chair near the window and sat down looking out across the vast Atlantic Ocean. There was no land to be seen. We were truly at sea. I thought about how tough it must have been to cross the Atlantic in a wooden ship without any of the convenience of modern life. I had a lovely cabin complete with a full bath and closet. We dined on the best of food and drank the best of wine. We were totally entertained and every detail was taken care of by the staff. There was a fitness center, a spa, a shop, a bar, a formal dining room and a beautiful pool top side. It would take us five days before we would see land. In the early settlers days it would take months under far less than comfortable conditions. For the next five days all we had to do was party and enjoy the luxury of the ship. The total passenger load was 600. This made it small but very private. It was easy to begin to recognize most all the passengers and after a few days everyone was very friendly. Being a single woman, I decided this was a great way to travel. Simply unpack and let the crew do all the work. You simply floated from port to port without a care in the world. I thought; I could get used to this.

As I was finishing my coffee I saw Frank approaching my table. He said good morning and asked if he could join me. He sat down and we began to chat. He told me he was on his way to visit his friend Nanos who lived just outside Athens. Because he was Greek he had already made friends with the captain and the crew who were all Greek. They had given him a private table for dinner and an invite to the Captain’s private party to be held that evening. He asked me if I would like to have dinner with him and then go to the party which would be in the captain’s quarters. I jumped at the chance. I would meet Frank in the dining room at 7PM.

Now dinner with frank was an event. As I approached the dining room the staff quickly escorted me to his table. It was a quiet table in the corner of the dining room set for only two. Frank looked so cute in his suit. He was sharp and witty. We looked over the menu and Frank made the wine selection. He turned to me and said that he would order for me. The staff loves to speak Greek. Frank explained there was an art to ordering Greek style. He explained that first you must ask about the salad. Was the lettuce fresh? Where did the tomatoes comes from? What about the cheese and the lamb? It was a lengthy debate back and forth. Both Frank and the waiter seemed to enjoy the exchange. Frank explained to me that it was the way Greeks interacted. They don’t just order. They discuss the meal.

For the rest of the trip I had dinner with Frank every night with the same debate and the same end result of getting our food specially prepared for us. Frank took great care of me. He ordered great wine and always knew from the waiter what was best to eat that night.

But there is more to this story….

Doctor Lynn

Monday, July 19, 2010

Back story Post 10 July 19

Love, true deep, lasting love… I began the quest to find true love. In the search I discovered the nectar of love and the secret to a sensual, loving and sexual life. There was something compelling that kept me in Los Angeles. I had the feeling for a long time that I was meant to be in LA because this is where I would find love. However I had been here about 10 years and had dated steadily for the last 4 years without much luck. Yes I met e few nice guys and yes I met a lot of BS artist but for some reason I could not leave.

I was asked to do a lecture on a cruise ship, all expenses paid to Europe. It did not take me long to agree to the trip. I had never done a cruise before although I had traveled alone and really enjoyed the adventure. All I had to do was lecture three times about natural health and yoga and the rest of the time I was on my own. We left out of Miami, Trans Atlantic to Madeira Portugal, to Lisbon, around Spain to Gibraltar, across to Tangier Morocco with a stop in Mallorca and on to Barcelona. The whole trip was about three weeks. In those days you could carry a lot of clothes. I took two suit cases full of dresses, shoes and evening attire. Where else can you get to dress up and attend an evening ball?

Once in Miami I took the bus to the ship and boarded. Everyone was happy. Drinks were served and we all mingled waiting for the departure. Five days at sea with nothing to do but relax and attend various lectures on a variety of subjects. I would speak three times as we crossed the Atlantic and then I was on my own to explore the ports of call. Now I know you’re wondering what this has to do with love. I’m getting to that.

The second night we had a captains’ ball. I got all dressed up and went to the ball room where there was a line waiting to be greeted by the captain and the staff. Everyone was dressed in gowns and tuxedos. The crew knew I was alone (they know everything) so they arranged for me to meet a man about my age( well a little younger) who was also alone. I was to meet him inside. As I stood in line a gentleman, I guessed to be about 20 years older than me approached me and introduced himself. His name was Frank. He said he saw me board the ship. We chatted as we moved through the line. He was short and stout with a balding head but there was something very cute about him, especially dressed in his tuxedo. He was very smart and very sophisticated. He was a retired American lawyer who had been born and raised Greece. The ship’s final port of call was Greece and he was going to Greece to spend a few months with some friends.

Once inside the ball room we said good-bye and I was escorted by the staff to meet my date for the evening. He was handsome, young, tall and lean. I could tell he liked me immediately. Although he was nice he lacked the masculine take charge energy that so attracted me to certain men. All the attributes of an eligible and good looking man were present but the chemistry was lacking.

I enjoyed the evening but wasn’t sure I wanted to be his date for ht entire cruise. The next morning everything about the trip changed…

Doctor Lynn

Friday, July 16, 2010

Back Story Post 9 July 16

It was at this time that I found the secret to completing my nectars. There had been one thing missing from the formula. It’s funny how life works. You open one door and like Alice through the rabbit hole you encounter one adventure after another. I had the formula for my nectars tucked away with the mother tincture. But I had not found the missing ingredient that would give it taste and delivery. I also needed someone to produce it for me.

One day I read an article in a magazine by a local Doctor who was combining allopathic medicine with alternative medicine. He was here in LA. So I found his address and phone number and contacted him. I told him about my background and he agreed to see me. He suggested I get in touch with an organization that was spearheading alternative movement and get on their advisory broads. With his recommendation I became a board member.

I became friends with one of the staff. I told her about my nectars and my desire to get them made. She sent me to the man who was manufacturing their products and suggested he might know someone. I met him and he did know someone who could put my formulas together and create my Doctor Lynn’s Nectars. The missing ingredient (a secret) came to me in a dream. I contacted the company and they knew exactly how to produce my nectars and the rest is history. You can read more about the nectars in my new e-book at 0r go to the products section at

I sold the nectars to my clients and through my lectures. I wrote, got a few books and article published, taught yoga, saw clients and spent time deeply absorbed into the world of natural medicine. But there was something missing from my life. Something that had been missing for a long time. It was…

Doctor Lynn

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Back Story – Post 8 July 15th

You all know the story of Peter Pan? Well after one year in LA I met my real life Peter Pan. Every woman has met a Peter Pan. He’s the guy that is playful and fun but never wants to grow up. You get caught up in the adventure and fun but at a cost to responsibility. I am a very responsible person. I had to be in order to survive. Peter built a life based upon irresponsible behavior. He could lose everything and in a flash something would happen to pull him through and then he would lose it all again. But I learned so much from him. He taught me affection and caring and made me extremely street wise. I was very naïve when I met him. I was book smart and street stupid. He was not so book smart but very street wise. We traveled explored different cultures and went into business together developing a garment line that we sold nationally. We had a third partner. He and Peter clashed and the business went south! Peter exposed me to the bowels of the garment business and the bowels of a big city. He exposed me to the finer things in life. Peter could travel anywhere and always knew where to find adventure and fun. He was addicting for those reasons. However you can only play for so long before you realize that time is slipping away and the reality of responsibility and your future demands that you grow up. Peter is still playing. He never grew up. In some ways his life appeared fun and in some ways in appeared a disaster. It’s all in how you looked at it. I had to move on.

This was when I decide to finish my Ph.D. ND. While writing my dissertation I met Amanda the woman who taught me how to make potions. I was studying herbal medicine and she helped me to take the little potions I was making to a higher level. The story is in my book, Sex Matters and Pleasure Delights. I also met Marcel. He owned an aromatherapy company. He was a Frenchman with a long ponytail and the most paranoid person I had ever met. He hired me to be the corporate educator. I flew around the country lecturing on aromatherapy. My dissertation combined the two disciplines; herbal medicine and aromatherapy. Marcel was from Provence. He was a chemist turned aromatherapist. He was brilliant and created a beautiful line of products but he was cheap and paranoid. He alienated everyone he met. I was very good at selling and teaching and this became a problem for him. He was afraid I would steal his trade secrets and start my own company. We parted company. I could not work under such a paranoid person who treated other people with total disrespect. The last I heard he stashed away several millions in Europe and then jumped ship and left the company in nearly bankrupt.

So for the next four years I wrote, started a small practice, taught yoga and lived a quiet and peaceful existence. For the first time in my life I lived by myself. My children were grown and independent and I was on my own to do as I pleased. Without the responsibility of children I took the time to get to know me. This led me to…

Doctor Lynn

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Back story – Post 7 July 14

About two weeks later I got a call from this woman. To this day I can’t remember her name or even what she looked like accept she was tall and pleasant looking. Her son had been offered a job from a company based in Boston to relocate to Los Angeles. They were looking for people and if I wanted to go to Los Angeles I should give the company a call. She put me in touch with the hiring person and told me to use her son’s name. I called and after a brief interview was hired. They would move me and set me up in Los Angeles after I went through two weeks of training in Boston. I should just briefly mention that the main reason I wanted to leave Maine was that the love of my life had broken my heart. We had been the “it” couple of Portland Maine, a small city of 60,000 people. The pain of seeing him and losing him was too much for me to bare so I wanted to get as far away as possible. LA seemed like a good choice.

I rented out my house, packed up everything I owned and my daughter and I left for Los Angles, where we knew no one and where I would need to learn to navigate the freeways of which I had never driven on in my life. I was a country girl with not much of a great sense of direction heading for Loa Angeles where driving will make you crazy. I had a five gear standard Saab, which was great for Maine winters and horrible on the freeway in stop and go traffic. I had two Thomas Guides that a friend had so kindly told me to buy, no cell phone and no sense of how this network of roadways works. The 405 and the 101 were like a nightmare to me. I would avoid them and soon learned how to navigate the back roads of the San Fernando Valley. I left behind a Maine woman and became a Valley Girl.

That first year was so stressful. The constant sound of traffic and the overload of people and building, no green foliage and the lack of space made me very tired and stressed. I never really understood how noise overload can bring on stress until that first year in LA. I never really understood loneliness until I moved to LA. But the weather! It was heaven! On the weekends in January, we would go to the beach. No shoveling snow and soldiering through zero and below temperatures. My daughter and I clung to each other and explored the many personalities of LA. After a year we settled in and decide to stay another year. This was the turning point…

Doctor Lynn

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Back story –post 6 July 13

Now I won’t bore you with all the details of my early life but let’s just say we were way too young to be married and to become parents; two times over. I knew nothing about myself, life or what it meant to be in love and have a good marriage. We moved onto the mainland of the town which was part of the Island I grew up on. It is a large peninsula which is the official and actual town. The islands (one of which I grew up on) are owned by the town. (I found myself back where I started, in a small town trying to conform and fit in like a fish out of water. (no pun intended)

At a young age with two small children I decide I could no longer be married to a young guy who was not a bad guy; I just did not love him and could not see myself spending the rest of my life with him in this town and living this lifestyle. So I asked for a divorce, which was by itself a major issue, let alone the children and the fact that I announced I was moving to the city and going back to school at the university. I was told that I had gone mad and that it was impossible. I would fail. Now I am not one to be told “no”. No is just another word for, “oh yea, just watch me!” So I returned to school and reemerged three years later with a degree in Communication and a 3.8 GPA! I went to work, bought a house, raised my children, went to school at night and dreamed of leaving Maine.

While in school I took a course in health and fitness. It was an elective. I loved it and soon began to devour books and classes that had to do with fitness and health. I took a class that I was told was just a fad – it was called aerobic dance. I loved it. I took a yoga class. I loved it. And so I began to take classes and then decided that I too could teach a class. I drove to Boston and sat for a four hour exam to get American Council of Exercise certified. I started teaching classes part-time after work and have continued to teach exercise classes for twenty-years. Now along the way I acquired a PhD in health and a Doctorate of Naturopathy. Diet, exercise and the natural science became my background; however in the early days it was nearly impossible to support a family in this field of endeavor. So I worked at jobs that were tough and dreamed of a time when I could do what I wanted and express my creative self.

I remember vividly sitting at my kitchen drinking a cup of coffee and dreaming of leaving Maine, creating a product, writing a book and finding love. But here I was in Maine with no way out or so it appeared. And no great plan but I still held onto my desire.

I would read and reread Think and grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It was my inspirations. I would read over and over – even if you don’t have a firm plan get started and hold onto your dreams. About ten years prior a guy I met asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I told him make a million dollars. He gave me the book and told me to read and reread it. I still have the book today, almost thirty years later and I did read it and reread it until the pages are nearly falling out of the book. It inspired me to seek my dreams. One day I mentioned to a woman I barely knew that I wanted to leave Maine and go to Los Angles. How I was going to do it, I did not know. Little did I know that she would …

Doctor Lynn

Monday, July 12, 2010

Back-story – 5 July 12th

My ex-husband turned himself in the US Navy and was immediately arrested and put into shackles. I will never forget seeing a young scared man being shackled and forced into the back of a paddy wagon. He was detained for about a week and then sent to Boston to the Naval Brigg to await trial. We were about to face together a Court Marshal. The military is very rigid and has its rules and procedures. A trial was set, our attorney coached us. I wrote a letter to our Senator and told her how we were two scared young adults just trying to rectify a mistake. She wrote me back a letter to give to the presiding judge. She asked him to be lenient because after all, we did return on our own volition.

I took a bus to Boston the day of the trial. We sat together with our attorney holding hands, pale and afraid. I had never been in a court room in my life and here I was in a military court room watching my husband go through a court marshal. And on top of it I would need to testify.

The judge came in the room, dressed in full military uniform. We presented our case. He sentenced my husband to six months hard labor in the Boston military brig. He would still receive his military pay and I would receive a wife’s benefit. If he behaved he would be released in six months from the military with an honorable discharge. We smiled, hugged and he was taken away.

Each week I would board a bus and make the trip to Boston to visit my husband. Hard labor consisted of a cell with a bathroom which he need to be locked into at night. In the morning he got up the door was unlocked, he went to work and then in his free time all the men in the brig had a center room with cable TV, games, music, books and good food. They could take classes. My husband spent his leisure time playing guitar with some other guys. Someone inside was capping mescaline and someone was dealing joints hidden in packages of cigarettes. I was allowed to visit, although I had to empty my purse and pockets (checking for drugs). After the first month when I came to visit my husband was allowed to leave the building and go about the grounds as long as he returned on time. We both played by all the rules. He was a model prisoner and I was the dutiful wife. He was released a month early on good behavior with an honorable discharge.

Doctor Lynn

Friday, July 09, 2010

Back-story –post 4 July 9

Rochdale was a free college located in downtown Toronto. The classes were free to anyone who wanted to attend. You just wandered in, found a class and attended. Now that was the premise; however once inside it was a different story. At the entrance to the college gate stood two burly biker/bouncer looking guys. To get past these guys you had to know someone inside. We happened to get a name from a friend who got it from a friend and so on. Once inside you would wander the hallways stopping in certain rooms where you could buy any recreational drug you desired. Marijuana of course was the big “hit” as well as other harder drugs. In other words it was the place to buy drugs. You would sit down in the dorm room, try the pot and if you liked it buy it and leave. Nobody seemed to care what was happening within the gates of Rochdale. It was a peaceful self regulated place, where you could take classes and yes they had a cafeteria and a garden as well as a library and all the things that make up a University.

I had my first cup of yogurt in the Rochdale cafeteria. I had my first tastes of Indian food while living in Toronto. I learned the bus and subway system and could travel all over the city. It was clean and safe but a long ways from home. After two years we got homesick and realized that to make a difference one needs to become absorbed in the system. Rebelling and fighting the system has never worked. To work from within, get involved, and vote although seemingly to conform was better than living in exile and rebelling against something we could not change from far away.

The problem was my then boy-friend and now my ex-husband was a deserter from the US navy, wanted by the US government. We could not just go back. So we contacted our families. My ex-husbands father was a career man in the Navy and still active. Although he was extremely upset at what we had done, he arrange for a military lawyer to speak with us. The lawyer told my ex-husband that we should get married and then return to the US. He should turn himself in peacefully. Our defense would be that I had thought I was pregnant and we did not know what to do so we ran away to Toronto.

So on July 25th of that year we stood before a justice of the peace, with two witnesses in Toronto Canada and got hitched. The next morning we boarded a bus for Maine. When came to the boarder we had papers which allowed us to cross into the U.S. without any interference. I remember the border guards’ looking at everyone’s papers and being so afraid that they would catch us. You see it would be in our favor to come back and turn ourselves in rather than be arrested by the border guards. We passed the test, re-boarded the bus and continued the almost 12 hour journey home. Once home…

Doctor Lynn

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Back story – post 3

Ever heard the phrase, “the black sheep of the family,”? That was me. I was different than the other children on the island. They all were happy to conform and wanted nothing more than to live the simple life. They would grow up, get married, stay and work in the community and many die without ever leaving the state of Maine. Not me…I wanted to travel, dance, be a writer, get an education and live as far away from that tiny island as possible. I was a dreamer, an artist and a rebellious child. You see my father left when I was very young. I look exactly like him and as far as I can figure out I am a lot like him. He was a dreamer and an artist and had a very hard time settling down to a small town life with a family. I wanted to see the world, experience life and create. I could not conform, which frustrated my family and labeled me the black sheep. I was not ostracized or banished to some far corner of the island but I did spend a lot of time by myself day dreaming about leaving the Island and seeing the world. This was frond upon. I was told I did not have options other than to stray and become part of the clan. When you take options away from a dreamer, you kill something in their soul. But I was determined and could not be bridled in. I was a spirited child.

The summer I turned fourteen. I fell in love for the first time, wrote a book of poetry and smoked my first joint. The summer kids arrived and along with them came my Uncle who was four years older than me ( my Grandmother was a school teacher and came to the island for summer vacation). My Uncle befriended the other summer kids and one of them was a young boy three years my senior. It was love at first sight. He was romantic, funny and from Philadelphia! He was my touchstone to the outside world. He really understood my romantic nature and truly cared for me, even though his father disapproved of him seeing an Island girl. This was the summer of Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. My uncle and the summer kids had discovered marijuana, music and hippiedom . My uncle got me high and so began my journey into becoming a rebellious hippie.

Two summer’s later I went to Woodstock and two years later I met my ex-husband and we ran off to Toronto to join the American Deserted Movement in protest of the Vietnam War. We lived in Toronto in a commune and worked for the underground, bringing draft dodgers and deserters across the border and helping them get landed immigrant papers. We did a lot of drugs, roamed the streets of Toronto and were fugitives from the law. My ex husband was a deserter and wanted by the US government. I was investigated by the FBI who went to my parent’s house and told them they were investigating me as a possible militant. We were neither. We were just two lonely kids in search of a dream. We both just wanted out of our family situations for different reasons but with a common cause.

Toronto was a very exciting city in those days. I remember the day I walked into my first Communist party meeting; a group of very radical people with very radical ideas. Now to me growing up, communism was bad and since these people seemed so radical I wasted no time moving on. There was some talk about linking up with the black panthers and storming the border with guns. This seemed a bit foolish to me and since I am not a violent person I never went near the communist party again.

We were very young and naïve. But almost two years in the city living amongst the anti-war movement groups certainly gave me perspective on life. And all the drugs…let me tell you about Rochdale the free college…

Doctor Lynn


Tuesday, July 06, 2010


Although my book is on Natural Sexual Health it’s also about magic, love and the tenacity to make dreams come true. My first exposure to folk medicine was in my youth. Without a doctor or hospital close by there was always someone with something that could be used for fever, aches, colds, cuts, flues, infections and any other maladies that might be fixable with a little touch of caring hands. For example: I can remember being given a little elderberry wine from the root cellar where my grandmother kept her canned and bottled preserves. Elderberries grew wildly all over the island. The berries have been used since ancient times as a medicine. They are rich in vitamin c and a strong tonic for strengthening a weak system. This is where I got my basic recipe for my Pep Berry Rob Nectar which is an immune boosting nectar of elderberries, other herbs, berry flavoring and honey. We would help my mother pick wild rose hips form the wild roses that grew along the shoreline. She would make a rose hip jelly that was wonderful in the winter on toast and provided us with vitamin c through the long winter months when fruit was hard to come by. Another example would be using burdock as a poultice (bandage to cover a wound) to draw out infection from a wound. As children we ran wildly and played freely in the coves and on the ledges of the ocean; always barefoot. As we ran along the ledges near the shoreline, we would sometimes cut our feet on barnacles. The first thing you did was soak your feet in the salt water from the ocean. It would clean and heal like an antiseptic. We used hot tea bags full of warm herbs for eye infections and smoke from herbs blown into the ears for earaches. But mostly it was healthy local foods and lots of fresh air.

I never liked going to the Doctor or taking allopathic medicines. There have been times when I had to see a doctor and take medicine. My belief and my background teaches me that a balance between the two; allopathic and holistic medicine is best. It is good to stabilize and eradiate pain but then it is best to look at diet and other natural causative practices.

My childhood had many tough times, as well as being rich with folklore, the simple life and a feeling of community that seems so secure. Nobody locked their doors or took the keys out of their cars. If you needed a car and yours wasn’t available you just used your neighbors. If you need an egg or flour you just went across the street and helped yourself. We had barn raisings, community dinners, skating parties, sledding parties, made homemade ice cream, ran freely through the woods and shore line of the island. We all had little boats, places to swim and lots of time to play. But we also had to work.

We all had to help with the chores and everyone did something to contribute to the family. The boys would help their fathers on the fishing boats and the girls would help the mothers with canning, cooking and domestic chores. In the summertime the “summer people” would come to vacation. So e worked in the little motels, restaurants and curiosity shops that dotted the island. We always had money, boats, cars and fun. I grew up with a strong sense of the Protestant work ethic. And a Yankee thrift point of view. I learned to make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

My early childhood was easy even though to most people we probably lived a poor and difficult life. It was not easy to grow up in a very rural and isolate part of the world. But it was easy, safe and carefree. You didn’t have one mother and father; you had Aunts Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents, siblings and a host of neighbors all looking out for each other. It was truly a community. But I was an odd child and given to spending a lot of time by myself contemplating the world…

Doctor Lynn


Monday, July 05, 2010

The Back Story -July , 2010

You would have to know where I’m coming from to understand the nature of what I am doing. There is a back story to my book, my videos and my nectars. The pieces of a long held dream are materializing like some kind of portal that opened up in the universe and suddenly let me step through. It’s been a lifetime trying to get here; overcoming obstacles and disappointments.

My parents divorced when I was very young. My mother remarried and we moved onto a small Island off the coast of Maine. I’m going back fifty-three years. Maine by itself was very rural and isolated fifty plus years ago. The Island was even more isolated. The population was about 500. It was a small rural fishing village. We had two small general stores, a local crank phone at the post office for emergency use only, one barely paved road, a community hall and a volunteer fire department. That pretty much made up the town. It was like living in a fish bowl. Everyone knew everyone’s business.

Fishing and summer tourism were the only industries. Women sewed, knitted, cleaned, cooked, raised the children, canned and foraged for wild berries and native vegetables and fruits. The women also worked alongside the men repairing fishing gear and occasionally giving a helping hand as a deck hand on the fishing boats. Life was simple and at the same time very harsh. The winters were long and cold with little contact from or into the outside world.

I grew up eating organic before it even had a name. We ate fresh what was in season. The women would can and freeze the fresh fruits and vegetables, as well as fresh fish, for the long winter ahead. In the fall the men would hunt for game and this game would be frozen, again, for the long winter ahead. Often times this was the only meat we would eat throughout the winter. Everything was natural with no preservatives. Fast food and junk food did not exist accept for the penny candy and donuts that could be bought at Sidney Watson’s general store. The general store was the place to buy provisions such as bread, flour, baking goods, coffee and, yes donuts. The fisherman loved donuts. Donuts and coffee was a staple in the morning on the fishing boats. They came in a cardboard box with a plastic see through window. There were only two kinds. Chocolate or vanilla with white powdery sugar or chocolate and vanilla covered with shredded coconut. Otherwise any kind of treat came from your mother’s or grandmother’s kitchen.

As a young child the only thing that existed outside this tiny village was the town about an hour by car north of the island. The town had a few banks, a real grocery store and a small main street with a Woolworths, a hardware store, a pharmacy, a pizza parlous, a donut store and a couple of clothing stores. In the summer we would go to town once a week but in the winter because of weather and road conditions it might be only once a month.

My mother was a very good seamstress so she made most of my clothes. I have to say she dressed me well. She also gave me advantages that others did not get. She loved the ballet and the theater so she enrolled me in dance classes, theatre, music and ice skating. She made me little costumes and entered me in competitions. I was a natural and loved to dance and act. She also insisted I be a lady. She would put a book on my head and make me walk around the house balancing the book. This she assured me would give me good posture and teach me to walk like lady. Manners were strongly enforced and cleanliness was promoted as next to godliness.

I went to a two room school house. We walked to school. Everyone had a dog and so the dogs walked to school with us. There was no running water, indoor plumbing or central heat in the little school house. For water we used large ceramic jugs with a spout and paper cups that slid out of a neatly packed container. They weren’t cups but rather looked like small envelopes or small funnels that would fit over your fingers. Besides using them for drinking we would color faces on them and use them as hand puppets.

The outhouses were outside just around the corner from the school. There were the boys and the girl’s outhouses. Each had two stalls. However the boys had holes poked through the inside so they could peak into the girl’s outhouse. It would be reported, plugged up and new holes would appear. You had to put on your boots and coat and run like mad through the cold winter wind to the outhouse where you wasted no time doing what you had to do and then would run quickly back inside to warm yourself over the wood stove that warmed the tiny school house. The dogs would come inside on really cold days and lay beside the stove while we attended school. We each took turns feeding wood into the stove.

Life was simple and uncomplicated. It was a million miles away from what someday would become my home the city of Los Angeles.

When it came to ill health, folk medicine was employed. And this is the foundation of my roots which lay buried and hidden for many years under a shroud of embarrassment. You see by the town folk’s standards we were called “clam diggers” or a derogatory term for rural fisherman. I understand what it’s like to be poor and rural and at the same time proud and rich. The town folk’s saw us as pagans who often used folk medicine. There was and still is something odd and at the same time magical about paganism.

It’s part of my heritage. It’s the back story…

Doctor Lynn