Thursday, January 06, 2011

Life becomes what life does – Changing direction

I’m contemplating changing a direction. Last week a friend suggested I write a book about relationships and how women can become balanced in the modern world. How do we stay feminine without being taken advantage of? Most women have been used and some abused by a man. A good deal of the women’s movement came out of oppression. Women were tired of being second class citizens. We wanted a voice. But we had no idea how to speak so we yelled and roared like a man using intimidation as our arsenal.

I’m a product of the “me” generation. An old hippie with values that still believe in free love, freedom of expression and equality for all. At a young age I found myself in the middle of the woman’s movement. It was a time of bra burning, pant wearing and freely using the word “fuck”. We stood up and protested against anything that made a woman submissive and feminine. We were as smart as men ( may-be even smarter) and we were determined to prove it.

What did we need men for? Only to make a baby. We could make money, hold political office, make decisions, solve problems, own property and raise children on our own without the dictates of a man. We thought we had freedom which as Janice Joplin sang,” is just another word for nothing left to lose.” We however had plenty to lose. Freedom from anything comes with a price.

What we lost was elements of our femininity. We lost the soft and nurturing side of ourselves. We lost the special part that separates us from men. We lost our distinction. And in the process we became competitive, angry, forthright, over achieving assertive and sometimes very aggressive almost androgynous beings with rights and responsibilities standing alone not at the top of the heap but piled and squashed into the world of work and toil.

However there were perks. No longer did we have to endure abuse. We could choose where and how we wanted to live. We could explore and rejoice in our newfound sexuality. We could buy and sell, establish credit, gain titles and get recognition.

It was ok to be single, to never get married and to be divorced. We were not scorned for openly having lovers or living with men without marriage. We could even have children out of wedlock artificially inseminated with a sperm from a donor who had no face and no name. We didn’t even need a man to make a baby. We could buy sperm and do it on our own.

We raised our sons and daughters to be equal. We encouraged men to bring out their feminine side. We thought we had it all so why didn’t this make us all happy? What was missing?

Doctor Lynn

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