Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Life becomes what life does – dating again

I am a first generation product of internet dating. I am even a first generation of the dating service. Sure there have been matchmakers in every culture but it was usually an Aunt, relative or friend who made it their business to find mates for single men and women. Marriages have been arranged and some still are. But paying a stranger to find you a mate was something new in the eighties and nineties in the American culture. I even worked briefly for a dating service. It was a job between jobs and free access to eligible men. The problem was that most of the people who signed up for dating services were not people I wanted to date. And the whole thing was quite a scam.

We were made to show pictures of members that were handsome and beautiful to entice eople to sign up. There was a strong pitch and a scare tactic to close. You made the person feel lonely and desperate and that the only way out was to join and find the love of your life. Of course once you signed up disappointment quickly set in….love is not found in a book of pictures.

The internet came along and changed the face of dating. For a small fee and the click of a mouse you had access to thousands of people all over the country and the world for that matter. It was like a buffet. You could pick and choose what you wanted and without a moments hesitation you had an in- box of eligible people to date. The only problem was that it was so easy to lie with the computer.

You can be anything you want behind the screen of a computer. You can lie about your age, your weight and even about your status (married or not). I can’t tell you how many times I met men who were not at all what they promoted themselves to be on the internet. One time I met a guy who described himself as a bit of a chubby Jewish guy. He was very pleasant on the phone and seemed like a nice guy. I could deal with a little bit of a chubby guy. When I met him he was at least 100 pounds over weight! That is just one of the mild stories from my experience on the internet. However I met my husband on the internet! But not without a little adjustment and compromise on my part.

Doctor Lynn

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