Monday, January 10, 2011

Life becomes what life does Who am I?

As I began to navigate my life as a liberated woman I struggled a bit with my role. I was the bread winner of my family. A single mother. I owned a home, drove a nice car, had money in the bank and could pretty much do as I pleased. The freedom was intoxicating from time to time.

I did not have to take care of any man. However there was not a man there to take care of me. I was alone in the world with the responsibility of a family. I could relate to the pressure a man must feel being the provider for a family.

In many cases I was more educated than the men I worked with and for…men still owned most of the companies and held most of the senior positions. The men resented my intelligence. I was not one to play dumb and boldly would assert my opinions. On more than one occasion it got me into trouble.

I was admired and respected for my tenacity and my energy but revered for my strength and fortitude. Women were not supposed to be competitive. I quickly learned that I could run circles around most men and wasted no time letting them know it.

Once I was dating a very nice man who asked me a question to make a point about my feminist ways; he asked me to pretend he was digging ditch on a hot summer day. He was hot and sweating. What would I do? I said I would get a shovel and help him. He smiled and said that what he wanted me to say and to do was to get him a cold drink of lemonade and praise him for a job well done. He made his point.

However he lacked to see my point. I would help him to get the job done faster. After all I was strong and I could dig a ditch too. I felt I was helping and this helping hand would be appreciated. He wanted to be cared for and praised for being a strong man. He wanted me to be feminine and soft. I wanted to be strong and equal.

I worked for men who tried to intimidate me. I was passed over for promotions and often times found myself not fitting in. I could not relate to the secretaries who were there to serve and I could not relate to the men who were there to be served. It all seemed very bizarre to me.

I was petite, blonde and by all appearances very feminine. Men were very attentive to me. I had no problem getting attention. But men were afraid to date me. They would later tell me that they were sure I had plenty of men chasing me and that I was strong and independent. The competition was too much work. I dated a lot but found it difficult to find a permanent relationship. Most men seemed too passive for me.

Then I met David.

Doctor Lynn

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