Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A Successful Life – Surviving a broken heart

He was the love of my life. I was 35 years old. I had spent the last ten years struggling through school and establishing myself in the business world. The time was right and David appeared on a warm early summer day in June on the town square. We ran into each other returning from lunch to our offices. We had met before and even went to a business function or two together but never considered dating. Something special happened that day. We took one look at each other and it was like a bolt of lightning struck us and we fell madly in love.

We spent the next eighteen months in mad passionate love or so I thought. I was ready to commit to this man and relinquish my independent feminist ways. He was the very man I had been searching for all these years. This was it! And in the beginning it was it for him too. But he unlike me was a rover who drank way too much and found it impossible to be faithful to any one woman. So he cheated on me and then told me he didn’t love me enough to marry me. I was devastated. I thought I would never love again.

It took several years and a couple of loveless relationships for me to get past the pain and devastation. I had worked so hard to be a strong independent woman and here I was crying and sobbing in pain for the love of a man.

I survived the broken heart. It ultimately made my life stronger and more thoughtful. I was lucky he didn’t marry me and bring me down in all his misery. He could not stay sober nor truly love. It was a disaster I had been spared. Today I am grateful that he did not use and abuse me. I believe he truly loved me and knew he could not be good to me – so he moved on. He did me a big favor. Because when someone doesn’t love you the way you love them it is sure to be a disaster and lots of pain.

I learned that compatibility, respect, honesty, stability and faithfulness far outweigh the lofty passion of falling in love. I began to look for a different kind of man. I learned from my mistake. I never felt angry or disappointed because I knew I could truly love from my soul. I had loved deeply. I was grateful for that part of the experience. I would not want to go through my life without falling madly in love – no matter the cost. I mended my broken heart.

I then lived with Peter who was a friend and made me laugh harder than any man I’ve ever known. But we were not meant for each other. We helped each other through a time in our life and then we needed to move on.

Doctor Lynn


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