Wednesday, December 29, 2010

A Successful Life Dreading a Party

Tonight we are going to a party. I am dreading it because the last time I went to a party at this person’s house the scene was uncomfortable. It was birthday/house warming party. He was also introducing us to the new girl he was dating. When we arrived not only did we meet the new girlfriend but we also met about 6 of his past girlfriends and his ex-wife. The party was more about his conquest than about his birthday or may-be that was the point – he was getting older and wanted to reassure himself he was a virile man.

The woman he was dating seemed very perplexed. The ex-wife got drunk. The other women paraded around with new boyfriends. It all seemed quite bizarre. I’m not looking forward to a reenactment. The woman he was dating has long since disappeared. There have been several others since her but none have lasted.

So why am I dreading this party? It’s an opportunity to watch people on parade. I think it is because he likes to brag about his conquest. I find it distasteful to hear about women referred to as anatomy and notches on his belt. But that is my problem. I am being judgmental where observation would be a better approach.

To observe without judgment is a very difficult task. We all like to add our own point of view. In yoga we use the witnessing consciousness to step back from a situation and learn to observe without judgment. The need to judge is removed for often times our judgments are wrong. Everything we ob serve is simply an opportunity to learn. There is no wrong or right but simply a choice to make.

It is best if I reserve my judgment and approach this whole event as simply an opportunity to observe. It is not up to me to past judgment. Life becomes what life does and the actions one takes creates the direction of one’s life. What is right for one person is not necessarily right for another person. It is up to each of us through careful observation to decide what is right for us and not to judge others for the directions they have taken.

I am still dreading the party. I don’t enjoy parties where women are pitted against each other like objects or trophies that have been won. But that is my issue. These women either knowingly or unknowingly participated or perhaps they were manipulated into believing that they were being invited to be someone special again. Whatever the cause I’ll try to observe and rise above the need to judge.

Doctor Lynn

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