Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Back Story Post 17 July 28

Let’s just say the first three years were tumultuous. Those close to me know how very difficult this marriage was from the get go. There were so many obstacles to navigate. I had been married very young and when you get married the first time you have no baggage. You simply get married (totally unaware of what you are doing) and blindly try to make a relationship work. No one prepares you for the hard work of being married. And believe me anyone who tells you it isn’t hard work has never been married or doesn’t have much of a marriage. A second, third or fourth marriage is even more difficult. No one prepares you for marriage at any level.

It all starts off with a grand party (the wedding) and a getaway honey moon. Life is bliss and you’re in love. But soon reality sets in. You begin to get on each other’s nerves and you fight. Now it is normal to argue but fighting is quite another thing. We fought. We did not know how to argue constructively. You see we both wanted to be in love and to live happily ever after. We have both been through many relationships and had been searching for the one love that would make it all work. We were both at cross roads in or lives and this was supposed to be the relationship that took us happily into old age together.

Even me approaching midlife and he in the beginning of his senior years, were both so naïve. We thought it would be simple. We were in love (or so we thought), we both wanted the same things, we had a lot in common and the sex was great. What could be the problem? Personalities, ex’s, children, insecurities, disappointments, fears and emotions; just to mention a few problems. We had to deal with each and every one of these.

We were both disappointed. Although the first three years were so difficult what held us together was the sex, the desire to make it work and not wanting to fail again. But we were failing miserably. Neither of us was happy. We were heading for a divorce.

Doctor Lynn

No comments: