Thursday, July 22, 2010

Back story Post 13 July 22

He told me he missed me but he understood that I was trying to launch a career, teaching classes and looking for someone closer to my own age. He was an old man. I had my life ahead of me and should try and find someone to love me and for me to love that I could grow old with. He thought he might stay in Greece. If I needed anything to send him an email and he would get back in touch with me.

I let it drop. I knew in my heart that I would be sorry if I gave away the next ten years of my life to be the companion to an old man. The money was not the issue. I had never been one to seek out money. That’s probably why I did not have any money. Love, passion and adventure had always been the driving force behind my actions. I could not marry an old man for his money even though it would certainly solve a lot of my financial problems. But like anything in life; things come with a price. At the time, ten years into the future; making me 58 looked like I would be old and alone. At 48, 58 seemed over the hill. I’m nearly 58 now and I can tell you I am not over the hill. I still think I’m 35 an have the energy of someone half my age. But all I could see was that I was on a quest to find my lover/soul mate and if I gave up now it would never happen.

I should have married Frank. Today I would be almost 58 and a rich woman. He was kind and loving and I would have made an old man happy in the later years of his life. I lost touch with Frank because something inside of me said not to lead him on or use him in any way. If I had married Frank I would not be writing this story. May-be I would be writing a different story. I do regret from time to time not marrying Frank. I would have an independence now that would carry me the rest of my life. I guess I was insecure about what people would say. They would talk and no one would believe that I truly cared for Frank. I would be labeled a gold digger and that is most likely what I would have been. So I walked away and although today I do have some regrets I know that I made the right decision, with my heart and not with my head and that has both been my downfall in life and my greatest asset.

I should have married Frank. A few months after I returned from the cruise I met a man from New York on an internet dating site. This was the early days of internet dating. I had been using the internet to meet men for about 2 years. I heard every story and met some pretty strange men. Most lied about their age and their looks. Some were nice but not for me and some were outright liars and thieves. The internet dating sites were the new social outlet for single people and for married people looking to have affairs. Yes I met a lot of married men looking to cheat on their wives. Long before social media, internet dating was a vehicle that would plunge you instantly into meeting people you would never ever meet in your life. Some of it was good and some of it was bad; that’s the internet!

Anyway after two exhausting years I met Art.

Doctor Lynn

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