Thursday, July 29, 2010

Back Story post 18 July 29

I do need to back up and tell another part to this story. When I met Dan, my now husband, he told me that he did not like scents and that he was not very spiritual. He was ok with yoga but he was into business and making money and had little time for the spiritual path. He did not believe in God or anything beyond the present life. This was all so contradictory to my beliefs and my path in life. I am a very spiritual person although I do not believe in organized religion or a great god sitting in the sky passing judgment and handing out punishments. What I do believe is the human spirit. I believe we are more than simply the body-mind and that this is not all there is to the energy of the soul. I believe in the laws of thermodynamics – energy is never lost it simply changes form and we are simply energy packets in this form and subject to constant change. But he did send me an email that I have kept all these years and I will share it with you.

Good morning (or whenever you get the computer working),

If there is a purpose to our meeting (and I am beginning to believe that there is), it is that;

-- You will bring more spiritual awareness to my life; and

-- I will bring financial stability to yours.


So although I would put my work on the back burner and make the relationship a priority, I hung onto this email and somehow knew inside that we would give something more to each other than appeared on the surface. Sadly I tucked away my work. The nectars, the aromatherapy and my writing all went dormant as I moved in with Dan and began to establish what I believed as the most important thing in my life…love. I wanted to be loved and to love and that took precedent over everything else. So I put aside my work and started the work of being married. Now I told you earlier that it was tumultuous. It almost ended in divorce. I was so lonely and so disappointed in those first few years. This is not what I had bargained for. I tried to write but the emotional instability and the struggle to survive killed all creativity. I survived but a part of me began to die. I had made a mistake. I did not want to go through another divorce. I did not want to fail so I hung on and continued to try. I should not have married this man.

Doctor Lynn

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