Wednesday, February 02, 2011

A Successful Life – The Road to Hell

Dante said the road to hell was paved with good intentions. So I have found. What a disappointment when your intentions are good and they are received with such anger and the anger is directed at you. For all the trying you receive a bitter blow of being blamed for all the ills that might befall a person. It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

What do you do with a good intention? If you see a loved one in trouble, do you ideally sit by and let them falter because it is easier and safer than trying to help? It is one thing to think you are right and that there is only one way to do something and you must impose this on another person even if your intentions are good. However it is another thing to reach out when you see someone you love hurting themselves and their health in a destructive way. How do you help someone who is on a path of destruction. It’s not about being right and it’s not about knowing better. It’s not about having things your way – it’s about love and caring. It’s about concern for the welfare of a loved one. As a mother it is always a challenge – do you speak up when you see your grown children hurting themselves or do you sit by and let things go. It is always a dilemma as to how far we can assert our intentions even if they are good and well meant.

My intentions did not go well. They were met with anger. The solace I take is that I know in my heart the intentions were good and never meant to bring about anger and hurt. I cannot be responsible for the way another person sees or feels. How another perceive a situation is often so far from what is intended.

In situations like these we must always return to the truth – the truth is that the intention was good even if the other person sees it as criticism. However we must also accept and acknowledge the other persons point of view. If they saw it as criticism ( and this is their truth) then unless they can also see our point of view the intention becomes another cobblestone along the road to hell.

Doctor Lynn

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