Friday, November 12, 2010

A Successful Life – Being annoyed and not getting mad

There is something that has annoyed me. It is something that has bothered me for a long time. It keeps resurfacing from time to time. It is something that someone close to me does that upsets me. It used to make me mad. I would lose sleep and be frustrated for days. Now I am learning to accept it for what it is and move on. I no longer linger in anger and frustration.

It takes conscious effort to experience an annoying situation, know there is nothing you can do about it and without nay resentment or anger simply release it and move on to a better place. But how do you do that? You must let go of everything but what you need to work on within yourself to bring peace and harmony to your life.

What does it take? It takes patients and acceptance. Patience has been defined as: the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.

an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.

Acceptance has been defined as: Acceptance is when a person agrees to experience a situation, to follow a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit.

So I need to not get irritated when something annoys me and then I must be willing to experience it without trying to change it, protest against it or exit the situation. That’s a tall order!

The real enlightenment is that I am the one who needs to focus on doing the work. I cannot ask another person to change or even to look at their shortcomings. I can only look at mine and then decide if I am willing and able to undertake the work to if not completely change at least learn how to control and temper my own shortcomings. It takes maturity to face yourself and face that you are partly at fault. As well as something may effect you in a negative way it is your inability to deal with it effectively that cause you discourse.

The wonderful thing about practicing yoga is that it constantly brings you up against uncomfortable situations. It brings into being conscious awareness of yourself and your relationship to the world. Yoga presents a basic understanding; that which is taken from you or not present in your life and is replaced by something else is exactly what you need in your life to bring about self awareness and wisdom. The problem is we resist that which makes us uncomfortable and that which we distain. And isn’t that exactly what we need to confront in order to bring patience and acceptance into our lives?

Although it is difficult to accept an annoyance in my life and truly a struggle to not let it become a major factor it has opened my eyes. Life is full of annoyances and sometimes people annoy us in ways that make it difficult to relate. But what if that person doesn’t mean to be annoying but just can’t help it. It’s part of their nature and we have invited them into our life.

I look at the annoying factors and then with patience and understanding I can look at the other side which is the side that is warm, loving and giving. Accepting the annoyances without irritation brings balance and harmony to the situation. And isn’t that the chief aim of a successful life….balance and harmony even when faced with annoyance.

Doctor Lynn

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