Friday, September 03, 2010

Back story Post Sept 3rd

I’m up before the crack of dawn. Its pitch dark outside and very still accept for the occasional car that rolls down Wilshire Blvd. I did go to sleep at 9PM so I guess getting up a t 5AM is not so bad. Most nights I’m exhausted from long hours of working. I need to stay focused and also need to implement a strong sense of self discipline. This is not something new. My life has always demanded self discipline in order to survive.
There was always money issues, children, work and responsibilities that demanded I be very self disciplined. Persistence is a mark of self discipline or may-be it is just plain stubbornness and an inability to accept defeat. Whatever it is I know how to super impose a sense of discipline upon myself. However there have been times in my life where the self discipline exhausted me and I went in the opposite direction. It’s sort of like denying yourself certain pleasures and then becoming a glutton of self indulgences. I think we’ve all gone there from time to time. The key is to find balance. To find a place where discipline is grounded and at the same time you can take time to laugh and play. Of course that is easy to say when you are not in a survival mode. Poverty and lack of support can be mighty forces in your life.
However I must find that balance point between the extremes. But a little more discipline is needed. I live a privileged life. It wasn’t always this way. I have struggled and gone without. Now I live a very upper middle class life, have money in the bank, travel, have clothes, jewelry and the ability to do what I want without a worry about money. I’ve never had this opportunity in my life.
When I was younger I watched other women who had supportive husbands, money, vacations, clothes, jewelry and all the accouterments of wealth take a position of entitlement without appreciation. It takes going without to learn to appreciate. And if I had to say the one thing that predominates in me these days it is appreciation for what I have because I remember all too clearly those days of struggle.
Character is a bi-product of discipline, struggle and hard work. Do I wish I had been born rich and had everything handed to me? You bet I do…but it would not be my life and I would not have an appreciation for things that most people take for granted.
So here I am about to launch my new classes, finish my book, finish the new DVD in my lovely condo, with money in the bank and an African vacation just on the horizon, appreciating the opportunity to be creative at a wonderful time in my life without the pressure of making money. What I appreciate the most is that at the end of the day I can put down my tools and laugh and enjoy the simple things in life.
Poverty, ill health and loneliness when turned around to become a comfortable, healthy and fulfilled life are a major feat. As I struggled to overcome each issue I remain constantly aware that at any moment poverty, ill health and loneliness can reappear. So for the moment and in the moment it is best to live life to its fullest.
Doctor Lynn

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